Little Pong

Life with Three Kids

2012-02-15T20:53:00.003Z

Just like when I went from one to two, I have recently been asked what it is like having three kids. Is it not much different to two, or is it totally nuts? Well, I'm only 4 months in, so I said that the jury is still out...

People often go on about how hard it is having three children. Now I have three I do know what they mean, but I'm not sure 'hard' is really the best description. I'm not sure it is really that much harder than two, or that much more work (of course it is more, because there is one more child to parent, but I'm not sure it is significantly more so). What it feels to me, rather than hard, is like there is a bit too much going on. A little too much to keep in your head. There is something quite exhausting about thinking about three children's needs compared to two.

In terms of our daily routine, I am doing pretty much the same as before. On good days it goes like this:

7am, I get the kids dressed while Adrian showers then he does their breakfast while I shower and feed Noah. 7.50am, Adrian goes to work and at 8.25am I leave the house (without losing my temper with Theo - this is a good day, remember). I drop Freyja and Theo off then come home and clean/tidy/drink tea/spend time with Noah. At 12.30pm I collect Theo from playgroup, he has his lunch and then I spend some time with him while Noah sleeps or sits in his bouncer. TV is now banned until after Freyja gets home from school - it is the most effective way to ensure Theo cooperates when it is time to collect Freyja. At 3pm we leave to collect Freyja, getting home about 3.45. I get a big plate of fruit for the kids, Theo watches TV, I do Freyja's homework or reading with her and then she watches TV. Noah hangs out in the kitchen with me while I make the kids dinner and, if it is a really good day, I also make dinner for me and Adrian. Dinner for the kids is at about 5.30pm. Noah has his bath at 6pm, Theo often joins him, then Noah gets out and Freyja gets in. I feed Noah while the kids finish their bath - on a good day Adrian gets home while they are still in the bath so we can share the rest of bedtime. Noah is asleep by 6.45ish. Then it's a story for Theo and lights out by 7pm and story for Freyja, lights out by 7.30pm. Then the evening is free!

Of course, sometimes I have do to it all one handed because Noah wants to be held. Sometimes the kids fight and it's all the harder to deal with when I have a baby to tend to aswell. Sometimes they get hyperactive before bed time and I feel like I'm talking to (shouting at...) a brick wall. Sometimes Theo refuses to walk faster than a snail's pace on the way to school. Sometimes Noah is unsettled and fussy. Sometimes (usually...) I have to repeat myself 10 million times just to be heard. Then another 10 million times to actually get anyone to do what I have asked. Sometimes Noah won't nap in the day. Sometimes he won't settle for the night. Sometimes the kids all cry at the same time and I feel I might cry too.

Somedays I feel it is not much different to two children. And other days I feel my head might explode with the extra stuff it feels full of since the arrival of Noah. Though now I can't really remember what it was like to only have two children.

The one-on-one time I'm finding to be okay so far. I'm lucky that, until Theo starts school, my day is divided into three - so I try to spend time in the morning with Noah, at lunchtime with Theo, then after school with Freyja, usually reading and doing her homework. At the moment we also read individually to them each night. When it works it is great. Sometimes, Noah needs feeding or is crying, but generally we work it out. If anything, the third baby has made me more keen to do things individually with my children. Theo and Freyja were a pair and I frequently lumped them together. Now I do try to fit in some time alone with each child during the week. I am probably overcompensating as I know this is an area many of parents of three say they find difficult and I do feel a lot of anxiety about it.

It's true about the laundry. I kept reading about how the third one pushes the laundry level into overdrive. I didn't believe it but it's absolutely true. I never stop loading up the washing machine and the clothes airer is now a permanent fixture in the kitchen. I feel some dread at the thought of three teenagers clothes in the laundry pile.

And the car - actually, that may well have stopped me going for the third. I hate putting the three of them into their carseats. And I guess if that's the worst I can come up with, then it's really not so bad.

Big Girl Hair Cut

2012-02-15T16:48:00.006Z

Today Freyja and I headed to The Little Clipper in East Dulwich to get her hair cut.

It had grown quite long but Freyja's hair is really, really fine so the longer it was getting the more stringy it was looking. 'Well, I don't know where she gets it from but it's not come from my side of the family' I scoffed at Adrian. We all have thick, glorious hair (read: bushy, bog-brush hair that needs daily taming with hot irons and anti-frizz spray. Theo has inherited it).

Anyway, after a quick stop at the cafe for coffee and cake, we opted for a neat little bob which looks cute and tidy (the kinks at the front are due to a plait she'd had in for a few days...)

Powell Craft

2012-02-14T20:03:00.008Z

I have accidentally discovered Powell Craft after buying Theo some bedding from an online discount website.

Since then I've bought some (ok, many) pyjamas from them and Noah was also given a babygrow and a couple of bibs when he was born.

The girls stuff is of course very sweet - I've just bought a friend who lives abroad some cute frilly knickers in the gorgeous 'Girls at Play' design for her little girl. But, parents of boys, I actually think their boys designs are better. I love the 'Vintage Transport' (like Theo's bedding) and 'Vintage Aeroplanes'.

Easy is...

2012-02-13T15:21:00.004Z

...one child less than you actually have.

When you have two children and one of them goes off somewhere for the day, you spend the whole time going on about how easy life must be for those with only children. Even though when you did have an only child you could hardly believe how hard life had become.

Well, the same is true when you go down from three to two. It doesn't matter if it's my 'easy' child or my 'more challenging' one who goes, now when I go down to two children I actually feel like I'm on holiday.

Freyja has just gone for a sleepover with her friend. I'm left with a 4 month old who has recently learnt to squeal and is doing it relentlessly, and my rather wilful 3 year old. Yet I feel like I've just been handed a large glass of wine and told to put my feet up for a bit.

So I think it must be the case that however many you have, when there is one you don't have to think about for a while, things feel that little bit easier.

Baking Disasters # 236

2012-02-03T12:51:00.004Z

One burnt and collapsed carrot cake.

With Theo's help, I tried my hand at a carrot cake today. It seemed super easy and I'm sure baked by someone else would be great. Mine was very wobbly after the suggested baking time so I left it in a bit longer and then the top burnt and it collapsed. Oops.

I used out of date self-raising flour. I'm sure this must be the problem. And I am also still getting used to the new oven and haven't quite worked out how to get my cakes baked without burning the top. It is nothing to do with my baking skills, I am sure...

It did taste really nice though, so I have been polishing it off regardless.

Comforters

2012-02-03T10:19:00.005Z

It is funny how some children get very attached to their comforter and others, not so much.

When Freyja was tiny and we were trying (desperately trying!) to improve her sleeping we bought her a rabbit comforter from Mothercare. This quickly became an essential sleep item and for the next few years 'Rabbie', as he was imaginatively named, was necessary in order for her to fall asleep. As she has grown older she has become less dependant on one particular comforter but she is still very into her soft toys, of which she has many, with some being more important to her than others. She is fickle in her affections, changing the one that she wishes to sleep with on a regular basis.

I too had a comforter as a child. Mine was a blanket. At first it was my brothers old cot blanket but when I was around 5 years old my grandma took it upon herself to get me a new one on account of the old one being rather manky. I have a very clear memory of standing with her by the cupboard under the loft, where she kept lots of bits and pieces, and her bringing out a new piece of material to make into a blanket. I have still got bits of that blanket. It has disintegrated over the the years, tearing into smaller pieces, full of holes and ladders. But I can remember needing my 'lanky' to sleep with and the frantic bedtime searching whenever it went missing - usually to be found down the side of the bed.

Theo, however, did not really take to having a comforter. He has only 4 soft toys. His old comforter (a teddy bear shaped one) which I would repeatedly put in his cot with him and which he really couldn't care less about. A puppy, which he quite likes. A teddy bear. And also a little rabbit which we were given free last Easter after buying a few items at Polarn o'pyret. Theo took a shine to this particular rabbit as soon as he saw it and it is the only soft toy he has any real affection for. And since he has given up his dummy, this rabbit has become more important to him and he likes to sleep with it and cuddles it in the night. So much so, that I will probably now pack it when we go away anywhere.

I'm not sure yet which way Noah will go. He has two comforters in his cot - a duck and a lamb - and I tuck him up with them every night in the hope that they will become a good sleep cue to him in the furture. But whether he will be a 'Freyja' or a 'Theo' remains to be seen.

House of Coughs

2012-02-01T15:11:00.002Z

We have not been all that well in the Lightly household for the last few months. There has been an endless round of coughs and colds that we cannot seem to get rid of.

My husband started it, way back before Christmas, with a hideous cough which then morphed into another hideous cough which he kindly passed on to me. He has only just got rid of his cough in the last 2 weeks or so. I have just about got rid of mine but am still dealing with rather alarmingly coloured mucus and bunged up sinuses. Which basically means a permanent headache.

The two older children have also had coughs. We're quite lucky with illnesses usually - the kids do get coughs and colds but they are never very bad, though Freyja does suffer horribly with persistent night time coughs whenever she comes down with something. Anyway, they have had coughs but have been ok, not as bad as their poor mum and dad anyway.

And last to succumb has been poor Noah, who seemed to escape the worst of it only to start coughing and spluttering a week or so ago and is still at it, waking him (and therefore me) up in the night.

And I know we are not alone. It does seem to have been a particularly virus-filled winter round here this year.

The Gallery - Me Right Now

2012-02-01T09:23:00.004Z

I haven't taken part in the gallery for a few weeks now. Something to do with having three children and one of them being a young baby.

But I saw the topic for this week's gallery was one I could easily take part in. My iphone has been a constant companion to me throughout these last 4 months, keeping me sane and entertained as I read the blogs I like during the endless rounds of feeding that come with having a young baby.

So here is what I was doing when I read the gallery prompt:

Some rather special pop-up books

2012-01-31T16:53:00.007Z

As well as children's clothes (in particular, pyjamas, I am realising) and nice wallpaper, I am also slightly addicted to kids books.

I'm always picking up new ones in the Sainsburys 2 for 3 offers, and from Amazon. And I tend to choose for me rather than just the kids. Well, I do have to read each one 95 times before we can move on to the next, so I think its fair enough to pick ones which I like....

So when Freyja's friend received a beautiful pop-up Alice in Wonderland book for her birthday I had to track it down.

It is by someone called Robert Sabuda, who appears to be a bit of a whizz at a pop-up books.

I bought mine from Amazon:

I ended up buying the Alice in Wonderland book for Freyja and Peter Pan for Theo.

Finding his Fingers

2012-01-30T20:32:00.006Z

Right from when he was tiny, Noah looked like he might be a thumb or finger sucker. He has tried and tried to get those fingers into his mouth and has repeatedly rejected the dummy. I have stopped offering him one now as he doesn't particularly need it - he is a much less 'sucky' baby than my other two were, I could not have survived without a dummy with either of those two. However, he has continued to try and get his fingers into his mouth and in the last week, has started having some success.

It's still very hit and miss so I'm not sure yet whether he will end up sucking his thumb or fingers. But it's great when he manages to soothe himself to sleep.

Bracelet

2012-01-29T20:27:00.005Z

My new bracelet:

Made by Theo, who drives me completely barmy on a daily basis, and then spontaneously kisses me, or calls me his 'lovely mummy' or tells me he loves me or asks for a cuddle. Or presents me with a bead bracelet when I collect him from playgroup.

All the more treasured because he's not particularly into his arts & crafts...!

Reclaiming our evenings

2012-01-25T09:38:00.004Z

We have tackled the evenings. Up until the weekend, Noah had been spending every evening downstairs with us, usually falling asleep at around 8.30/9pm and then up to bed with us, fed and popped into his basket. I have been making excuses as to why this needs to continue. He's too little, he's too awake, he's not ready. I'm not ready!

On Sunday, something switched in me and I realised I needed some time for myself again. Three kids really can feel overwhelming at times and when you don't even have those precious few hours in the evening, it can feel like there is no escape.

Up until the weekend I enjoyed those evenings with Noah. He was our little buddy. But suddenly it felt right to try to get all the kids to bed together. Noah is also bursting out of his moses basket and we would soon be forced to move him into his cot anyway.

The first night took an hour and half of sitting and feeding and patting. The next night took an hour. Last night took an hour but more going up and down rather than just sitting with him in the room. Last night, he also spent the entire night in his room for the first time and it was the best night we have had in quite a while, with only one 3am feed (we have regressed somewhat on the sleeping front - arrghhh!).

It feels wonderful to have some of our evenings back again, or at least to be on track to reclaiming them. It feels sad to have moved out of the real baby stage where they sit up with you all evening. It feels good to have a bedtime routine that involves all three of our children. It feels sad to know he won't be sleeping right by me anymore (well, not for the whole night at least...) It feels good to see some normality returning to our evenings.

It feels sad knowing I will never again experience that crazy, wonderful, exhausting, amazing newborn phase. Though not sad enough to have a fourth...

More lovely wallpaper

2012-01-23T16:45:00.002Z

Completely love these two wallpapers from Paperboy Wallpaper. And now I have two boys who will eventually share a room I think I can justify the purchase. Though I may go for curtains instead of wallpaper.

I just can't decide between dragons or dinosaurs. Theo loves both.

Sticky Situation

2012-01-21T10:49:00.005Z

Last Saturday morning, I was changing Noah's nappy when I found inside a rather mangled and half digested sticker. A gold and pink one.

Once I got over the initial surprise, I felt rather relieved that my 3 and a half month baby had managed to safely swallow and pass out a sticker. I also felt rather idiotic for allowing my other two children to constantly litter my entire house with stickers. Including regularly sticking them on their baby brother's top, one of which had obviously found its way onto his hand and then into his mouth.

Two days, and a lot of green poo later, Noah wasn't very well and was regularly screaming in pain. As it turned out, he most likely had a stomach bug, but it took a lot of worry and a call to the doctor for me to stop feeling convinced that the sticker had caused some sort of internal damage.

He has now recovered. But he is back to waking for a feed at around 2am, as well as the usual 4/5am. Sob.

New Room

2012-01-12T16:17:00.003Z

We have moved Theo into what used to be our guest room at the back of the house. He now has loads of space to play in and the transition has been much easier than I feared it would be.

Noah's cot is now set up in the box room next to ours, but he is still sleeping in our room in his moses basket. It's the longest we've kept one of our babies in with us but he's sleeping so well that I don't want to do anything that might interrupt it. We will eventually be forced to move him as he's getting quite big for his basket. But for now, sleeping at night trumps space to sleep in.

Feeding

2012-01-09T19:38:00.007Z

While things with sleeping at night are good, one area that can be bit up and down is the feeding. Noah has been a very hungry baby, rapidly gaining weight in the first 3 months and jumping from the 50th centile to the 91st! He has settled down in the last 2 weeks and his weight gain has levelled off thank goodness. At 14 weeks he now weighs 6.7kg (14.12lbs - back to around the 50th centile).

He fed well from the start and most feeds are fine. However, often I find that at least one feed a day results in him screaming. Really, really screaming. He latches on, starts to feed and then pulls off and yells. It's not every feed, or even every day, and very rarely at night. I think it usually occurs when I misread the signs and feed him before he is really ready and at other times when he gulps down without breathing enough! I'm pretty sure it is some kind of disgestion/wind/discomfort issue.

He possets after most feeds, something Freyja and Theo never did, and he needs more winding than they did. I never used to wind them, but Noah burps like a trucker.

He is also a bit of a biter...

Sleeper

2012-01-08T15:44:00.002Z

I am terrified of jinxing it, but so far Noah is turning out to be my best sleeper. I can hardly believe my luck.

It was an uncertain first few weeks as he woke frequently to feed through the night and would only sleep in the bed with us. But the last month or so has been really good. He does wake to feed in the night, usually between 3am and 4am, but it is just a half hour feed then straight back in his basket and back to sleep. No pacing, patting, walking or rocking. Of course we have the odd unsettled night - only a few days ago he woke at 1.30am and didn't settle until 6am. But most nights are easy. And we have even had a few where he has slept straight through. Last night was the best yet, from 10pm to 7pm. At only 14 weeks I think this is great, certainly for one of my children anyway.

We have not been able to get him down in his cot the evenings - he just sleeps for 10 minutes then wakes and cries. So far we have not tried to make it happen, I am very aware of him being my last baby and how quickly this time will pass. So he spends the evenings downstairs with us, still often asleep or just in his bouncer, having a feed if he gets fussy, and then he comes to bed when we go some time between 10pm and 11pm. Then I feed him and he goes straight to sleep. I am tired, feeding in the night is still quite draining, but I do not feel as though I am trying to function through a fug of sleep deprivation.

He is a cheerful baby, full of gummy smiles for me and Adrian and particularly for Freyja and Theo. He gurgles and coos and laughs and as long as he is fed and has enough naps then he is content (give or take the odd digestive issue that he suffers from!) Though I make no predictions as to how he will turn out - neither Freyja nor Theo have the personalities that I thought they would have from their baby temperments.

Photo Update

2012-01-08T15:39:00.003Z

Family Reunion

2012-01-08T14:00:00.003Z

My dad's side of the family is huge. He is one of 6 children and those 6 children have all had at least 3 children each. I have 23 first cousins and they are all on my dad's side.

Many of those cousins have started having children now as well. And on Saturday a group of us got together for a family reunion.

There were loads of us, even though there are many more who weren't able to come. My Icelandic side of the family is spread far and wide, many of my relatives I have never even met and most I have not seen in years. But as is often the case with these things we all had a wonderful time and promised not to leave it so long in the future. And I think we might actually keep that promise.

Ballet Birthday Party

2012-01-06T20:26:00.001Z

Freyja requested a ballet birthday for her party this year. I thought it would fairly straightforward but it seems there is lots of ballet birthday party stuff in America and not so much here unless you want to go for Angelina Ballerina. Which Freyja didn't.

I did find these great ballerina cupcake toppers from the Twinkle Toes range by Meri Meri (I got them from partyark). I then lovingly bought some pink and yellow cupcakes from Ocado and decorated them.

We had lots of pink (though I am pleased to report that pink has been ousted by yellow as the favourite colour), tutus for the girls to wear, a ballet craft activity and some ballet table confetti and napkins. No one noticed, of course, but I enjoy getting it all ready (though the actual party, not so much...). And Freyja was pleased, which is the main thing.

I found these sweet little ballet party bags on ebay which I filled with some ballet shoes hair clips, bubbles in a ballerina bottle and few other bits and pieces.

To a certain extent, I am still dictating who she invites as she has yet to form close friendships in her new school, so we just invited the group of girls that Freyja has known for a few years now. Next year I hope she will be more able to say who she wants to come along from her class friends.

It was still pretty manic, even with just 5 girls. Though not quite as crazy as last year - this time I fed them earlier and I had no sweet food at all other than the cupcakes.

Next stop, dinosaur party for Theo's 4th.

Book Worm

2012-01-04T19:58:00.001Z

For Freyja's birthday I gave her a massive set of Rainbow Magic books. I'd bought these ages ago at a Book Event at my work, and really planned them as something we would read together.

Her reading has really come on in her new school. It was one of the reasons that I was happy to move her as I felt that she was a more capable reader than her teachers were allowing for. This wasn't me being pushy, although I did start to doubt myself and wonder if I was just deluded about my firstborn's abilities! But my feeling was that she was capable of reading at a higher level than her school seemed willing to put her on. And we're not talking much here - well within her age range, so nothing that ambitious! And I knew from talking to parents of Freyja's friends in other schools, most of who were reading at higher levels than she was, that I wasn't being unreasonable in my expectations.

Then, on her first day in her new school she was moved up 2 reading levels. And she is now reading at 5 levels higher than she left her old school on at half term. As an aside, I also feel her writing, which I was a little concerned about previously, has improved this last half term.

Anyway, she opened her Rainbow Magic books on her birthday and the next day decided to make a start herself. The first chapter was tricky - she could read it but I knew from her school reading that pace would be an issue, which it was. She lost the meaning of the story. That night I re-read the first chapter to her and we decided that was the approach we would take - she would read it, then I would read it again to her. But over the next few days she really progressed and has now finished reading the first two books herself. I keep catching her curled up, nose in book. She seems to have grown 2 inches and a few years in age over night. Her best friend Ruby is also reading the same books so they are now swapping them as they go.

I feel as though a little girl walked out of the school gates at the end of last term and a school girl will walk back in tomorrow. (sob....)

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2011-12-31T20:34:00.003Z

2011 turned out to be quite a big year in the Lightly household. At the end of January I found out that I was pregnant. The next 9 months went by for me in a sort of hormonal haze. And as well as the arrival of Noah, Adrian started a new job, Freyja started a new school and we had a new kitchen. We have also this evening moved Theo out of his little room and into what was our guest room at the back of the house.

We'd like a quieter 2012. I have only small aims - to de-cluttter the house and to get Noah going to bed at a decent time (he is STILL up with us in the evenings - I fear this child is a night owl like his father. He stays up until 10pm and then given half the chance lies in all morning). We may get a new bathroom and tidy up the garden.

Though we do have one major event to look forward to. Theo starts school in September...

Happy 6th Birthday, Freyja

2011-12-27T19:03:00.004Z

Today Freyja turned 6 years old.

She asked for pancakes in the morning, then went to the cinema with her grandparents, followed by lunch at Pizza Express then home for presents.

Freyja is rather strange in that she likes to hold off as long as possible before opening her presents. She was the same on Christmas Day and on her birthday we ended up having a present stand off between Freyja and Theo (who had one present to open) with neither wanting to be the first to go. (I say strange but I was the same as a child, always wanting to leave Christmas presents until the last possible moment in the day. And Adrian was similar too).

She received some lovely gifts, her favourites being an Alice in Wonderland dress from her grandparents and a box set of the Rainbow Magic fairy books from us.

Here she is making a first attempt at independent reading of a 'chapter book' by herself. While dressed as Alice, of course.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T12:52:00.000Z

Noah

2011-12-15T20:13:00.004Z