Little Pong

Numbers - 3 Bears

2010-03-10T20:27:00.005Z

Here is my photo for the Gallery this week:

I looked at lots of pictures, but kept coming back to this one. My own little Goldilocks standing with her 3 bears. Taken last weekend at Battersea Park Zoo.

I, Theo

2010-03-07T12:51:00.002Z

In the last two weeks Theo has started using 'I' when he talks. Freyja didn't do this for ages - she was a 'Freyja wants', 'Freyja do it' kind of talker. Theo has gone straight to using 'I'.

Sometimes he even gets it right.

He says 'I did it' and 'I finish' and 'I want it'. Generally though he just uses it to refer to something he want, is doing, or believes belongs to him. It's cute and often funny.

He says 'I apple' or 'I nappy' or 'I dinner'. Or, our favourite so far, when he called us into his bedroom in the morning and, when we asked where he was, his little muffled voice emerged from behind the curtains: 'I window!'

Friday Fashion Finds

2010-03-05T16:30:00.001Z

Have had a busy day, so a quick one from the trunk-of-clothes-to-grow-into today:

Theo's eagle top from Monsoon. Love the yellow, love the animal print.

Beauty

2010-03-04T12:14:00.002Z

I wasn't sure what picture to put for my first entry into the recently launched Sticky Fingers Gallery. The subject is Beauty and I do have lots of beautiful pictures of my children and my family and my home. None of me, mind. Gah.

And then I remembered this one:

I love the vivid red of this one brave and beautiful tulip emerging from the bed of green weeds in our yet to be tended garden. And how Freyja is completely absorbed by it. I look at her face and wonder what she is thinking as she sits there gazing at this flower. I like to think she is simply entranced by its beauty but I imagine that really she is fighting the urge to pick this treasure, which I have no doubt just told her not to!

Wallpaper for Boys

2010-03-04T11:28:00.002Z

Something more fun now!

I am forever changing my mind about how I should decorate my children's bedrooms. I'm quite happy with them, but I'm always browsing for other ideas.

Recently I found this excellent wallpaper from the wonderful Rockett St George (I could buy nearly everything they stock...) This, however, I am not actually going to get because it's rather expensive and Theo's too young for it anyway.

But I love it. So it's going on my blog.

More appropriate for Theo now (though again, probably not something that I will actually ever get....) are these, by Ferm LIVING (stocked at Cloudberry Living):

I'm particularly keen on the 'Rush Hour' one. Theo has a gorgeous Dwell Studio blanket which I bought him from Lula Sapphire when he was born and I've been slightly in love with this sort of design ever since.
And here's one that Adrian would actually agree to as well. Cricket wallpaper (another one from Rockett St George):

Lovely!

A letter to my sister-in-law

2010-03-01T11:40:00.001Z

Although we aren't close in the way some sisters-in-law are, you are still such an important part of my life. For one thing, you actually married my brother! And had two beautiful boys with him, my gorgeous nephews. We live in different countries so we don't see each other that often, but I always enjoy the times we are together, as one big family. Do you remember that first Christmas you spent with us when we made you dress up as a swan for a family performance of Swan Lake. And to think you still married him!

How could anyone know what lay around the corner? Sometimes I look at old photos and try to see in those pictures some sign that things weren't right, but I can't. Your hair is shiny, you are smiling. How were we to know that you were being eaten away inside? I'll never forget my mother calling and saying 'we have a problem'. I'll never forget you walking into my flat after the diagnosis of 3rd stage ovarian cancer and hearing you sobbing for 'my boys, my boys'.

But you have struggled on. No one will ever match you and my brother for sheer strength in facing your nightmare with dignity and telling everyone else it will be okay.

But it isn't okay. Because your cancer is terminal. Three years of fighting and hoping only to be told that it will get you in the end. I get angry when I read about 'brave cancer survivors' as if bravery can be enough to get you through this and those who succumb must in some way have been a little bit too weak. No one has ever been stronger than you in facing this and yet you will die from it.

All those broken dreams. All those nightmares faced. My mother seeing her son dealing with one of the worst things that life can throw and knowing that her grandsons face a terrible loss. My father, endlessly optimistic, having to accept that life is unfair and sometimes things don't work out. We've always been a lucky family - how did this happen? My brother, quiet and contained, shouldering it all and hoping beyond hope that you could hold on until a cure was found, now faced with a life alone raising two young boys. Two sisters, grieving for their family's nightmare, their brother's pain. My two nephews, living in the present as children can, but with a life ahead without their mother there to hold them and guide them.

And You. Your life and dreams cut short right before your eyes, faced with the awful knowledge that you won't grow old with your husband or see your boys grow into men or become a grandmother to their children. I'm a mother now too and I can hardly bear to think of the agony you must go through. To know that you won't be there to take them to school, to help with their homework, to soothe their nightmares, to hold their hands, to remind them to brush their teeth and clear their plates, to cuddle and kiss them and to tuck them in at night. Where do you find the strength to keep going when faced with that?

We may not be close like some sisters-in-law but that won't make it any easier to lose you.

March is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. Please be aware.

Tech Kids

2010-02-26T19:40:00.002Z

Is this okay, I ask myself?

My children are fast becoming computer addicts. Theo can already find his way around an iPhone and he's not yet 2. And as for Freyja. Well, she shows me what to do...

Balloon Animals

2010-02-26T19:39:00.001Z

Made by my friend Paul. Delighted the kids.

(In case you are wondering, there is a rabbit, elephant, frog and cat/tiger)

Friday Fashion Finds

2010-02-26T07:49:00.000Z

I have a love/hate view of NEXT. Loads of their children's clothes are of the type with cartoon fairies or cars and little slogans saying 'I'm a Princess' or 'Mummy's Monster', which personally I'm not so keen on.

But among all that they often have some real gems.

For girls, their tights are great and I headed there the other week as Freyja has grown out of her age 3-4s. I did a bit of a double take as I walked in. I wasn't so keen on the boys stuff, but the girls collection was great. Lots of animal print items and florals, which I love.

I got this denim ra-ra skirt which she has already worn to death:

Going to have to get another in a bigger size. Also got two brilliant tunics, one with a tiger face and one with zebra stripes. There were lots of things along these lines so I had to resist buying too much of the same.

Then I went on the website when I came home, and spotted these gorgeous bow tops:

Bottoms!

2010-02-19T15:32:00.001Z

Freyja likes to choose which knickers she will wear each day. Today as she rummaged through, she was having trouble deciding:

"They are all so pretty I don't know which one to choose. But I only have one bottom so I have to choose just one. What I need is more bottoms!"

A girl who wishes she had more than one bottom. Let's hope she always feels this way about it!

Friday Fashion Finds

2010-02-19T09:08:00.001Z

I am ~~shamelessly stealing~~ taking inspiration from Mummy Bear at She Was Not At All Domestic's Friday Fashion Fix and introducing my 'Friday Fashion Finds'.

I have an on-going love affair with children's clothes. I like nothing more than rummaging through the rails in TK Maxx or having a quick whizz round the aisles in Sainsburys (surprisingly good). My husband despairs, but I've long ago come to terms with spending money on something that ends up covered in tomato sauce.

I tend to buy in bigger sizes and store them in a chest I have upstairs which I periodically go through to get out the things they have now grown into - usually to find that I've bought far too many hoodie's for Theo or that Freyja now owns 4 near idential tops.

Anyway, recently I was having one of my sort outs and while I was going through everything I remembered Mummy Bear's Friday Fashion Fix, where she posts about gorgeous items of kid's clothing she has bought or seen. And I thought to myself, now there's an idea...

It was hard to decide where to start, so I've just gone for my most recent TK Maxx purchase - two gorgeous Freoli T-shirt's for Theo.

Just love that green!

Second Pregnancy Jitters, Re-visited

2010-02-18T14:07:00.009Z

One of Sleep is for the Weak's writing prompts is 'What were you doing this time last year' and it was suggested that you could put up a post from a year ago. I liked that idea but it turns out that last February, I wasn't up to much at all.

So I went back further, to 2008, and it turns out that February two years ago was when I was having a major wobble about being pregnant again. And given that I was 7 months pregnant at the time, it was rather alarming.

Here is the post I wrote then.

I read it now and it seems so amazing to me that I felt like that. I can't believe I ever thought that having my second child would be a betrayal to my first. Watching both my children together, being with them, whether it is both of them together or just one at a time, is what I love. When Theo runs in to show Freyja something, calling her name or when Freyja asks to climb into Theo's cot and 'read' books to him in the morning and tells me that she loves her brother, my heart melts.

At the time when I had my wobble, my best friend's mum emailed me after reading my post. Among other things she told me to 'remember to look forward to all the good times you have to come when you watch your two children playing (and more than likely falling out) together'. It seems like nothing, doesn't it? Watching your children play together. But it is proving to be one of the best feelings in the world. And all the more for knowing that when they do fall out, they come together again, as only siblings can.

But two years ago I didn't know any of that. All I knew was that things were going to change irretrievably and I didn't like the idea of it one bit.

What did I think was going to happen to my relationship with Freyja? I don't know, but whatever it was seemed horrible at the time. I was scared something fundamental would change between us and I wouldn't be able to get back to where we were.

Well things did change. And actually I can no longer really remember what life was like with just one child. And I do think my relationship with Freyja is different - something that would have completely horrified me before Theo's arrival.

But it has changed for the better. My relationship with my children feels more complex, more multi-dimensional, often more exasperating and maddening but also more honest and real. It's true that Freyja is off her pedestal. But now both my children stand together.

How could I have thought it might not be that way?

(Un)happy Valentine

2010-02-14T08:42:00.006Z

Following the lead of many who have written about not-so-romantic Valentine's days, here's why we're having a quiet one:

Some time ago my husband managed to achieve that goal which I'm sure many men strive for - he convinced me, truely and absolutely, that we shouldn't celebrate Valentine's day.

It wasn't just on a whim. We'd had two pretty poor experiences - one involving our table booking being cancelled because we were going to be 15 minutes late, even though we called to let them know. And the other involving being seated at a table so uncomfortably close to the couple next to us that we may as well have been double dating.

So Adrian, who actually can't stand any of this sort of thing - it's pushing it each year just to get him to celebrate Christmas - convinced me that he didn't need one day to show me he loved me. To be fair, he's pretty good all year round at surprising me with little things he knows I like. Chocolate buttons from Hotel Chocolat, a bunch of lilies or tulips, tiny knickers....that sort of thing! I know that he would celebrate it if he thought I wanted to, and he always checks each year that I'm okay with us not doing anything to mark the occasion.

But I really am okay with it. Valentine's day was ruined for me anyway due to one awfully humilating experience when I was 8 years old that has stayed with me ever since. It was so cringe-worthy I can hardly bring myself to write this, 25 years later. It involved a boy I really, really liked, a painstakingly crafted Valentine's day card (I'd used my mum's eye shadow to colour it in) hidden in his school drawer, him finding out that it was from me and then giving it back to me in front of the entire class!

I still want to curl up and die when I think about it. When the time comes, I will never underestimate my kids childhood crushes and the agony they may bring!

Happy Valentine's Day!

(I missed this one, but for more Valentine's stories, head over to the The Valentines Carnival at The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.)

Just in case

2010-02-13T13:57:00.000Z

I recently read this post about storing baby clothes. This is a subject close to my heart. I could dress a small country with the amount of clothing I have in the loft 'just in case'.

I have a bit of a weakness for kids fashion, as does my mother. Freyja is also my mum's only granddaughter, out of four grandchildren. So she has a lot of clothes. Before having Theo I used the excuse that I was keeping everything incase we had another girl. Bags and bags and bags of stuff. We had a boy. I've still got it all though.

The loft is now packed with bags and bags and bags of girls and boys clothes. I can't quite bring myself to get rid of it yet.

I don't keep everything. I only keep the useful stuff (vests/sleepsuits) and the things I really like. Problem is that I really like most of my children's clothes. I tell myself I will ebay it eventually and if I ever do it will probably keep Adrian and I going for a year with the amount of stuff up there.

A few months ago I bought these nice bags from JoJo Maman Bebe and sorted everything out. I made a (very small) pile of things to give to charity and packed all the rest away again so that they are now at least neatly stacked in pretty bags.

I made a little pile of things I'd like to keep forever. Just enough to put in a box for each child - a tiny newborn vest each, their first sleepsuit (okay, I cheated and chose each a pretty one rather than the first actual one they ever wore - which in Freyja's case was a gigantic white one and in Theo's case was too small and the poppers wouldn't do up), their first proper shoes, first birthday outfit and one or two other things that I think are really 'them'.

When I was little I had a teddy bear called Amanda who I used as my 'baby', in much the same way a doll would be. She was big enough to fit real newborn baby clothes and my mum gave me a few things that had been mine and my sisters for her to wear. Recently I found those clothes in a cupboard at my mum's house. They took on a whole new significance, now that I have children, seeing those tiny, tiny dresses and knowing that my sister, and in some cases myself, used to wear them. So I don't want to get rid of everything. And I'd be happy for Freyja to use some of her old clothes for own dolls.

But keepsake boxes and dressing up aside, I know I can't keep it all forever and I am going to have to tackle the loft. But it seems very final and I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to this part of my life just yet.

Have you tidied your room?

2010-02-13T13:52:00.003Z

What happens whenever I let my 4 year old play in her room with her friends:

My First Award!

2010-02-11T19:18:00.007Z

The lovely Young Mummy at Young & Younger has given my first ever award - I am ridculously excited about it!

But before I get too carried away, it seems there are some things I should do to accept this award:

•Put the Logo on your sidebar, or within a post.
•Pass the award onto 12 Bloggers.
•Link the nominees within your post.
•Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
•Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

I feel slightly overwhelmed at having to nominate 12 bloggers and I'm sure many of these will have already received this award before. But here are the blogs I'd like to send a little ray of sunshine to:

Whoopee
SylkeWeb
Baby Baby
Babyrambles
BabyGenie
The Heartful Blogger
She Was Not At All Domestic
Make do Mum
Battling On
Muddling Along Mummy
Sleep is for the Weak
Mummy Mania

Is this really happening?!

2010-02-11T12:56:00.004Z

This is my entry for the latest Mummy Bloggers Carnival, which is on your top 10 most surreal mummy moments:

1. While pregnant with Freyja I felt sick for the first 3/4 months - during this time I went on a long weekend to Bruges and I organised my best friend's hen night. To this day, I cannot think of either of those two events without a wave a nausea.

2. Boobs like cannon balls as my milk came in. Wasn't expecting that.

3. Taking Freyja out on New Year's Eve to visit some friends, when she was only 3 days old, and finding that I was too scared to cross the road with her. I had to ask my husband to take over the pram.

4. Discovering that one of the mums through my post-natal group, who is now one of my closest friends, knew many of the same people I do and has been out clubbing to the night run by some of my friends, where I practically lived for the first few years I was in London.

5. Baby Bounce and Rhyme at Lewisham Libary. The best Bounce & Rhyme I've been to. Run by 2 men who would get so into it they would be sweating by the end. We used to sing songs about being eaten by Boa Constrictors and I'm sure there was one about a rabbit and a shotgun. It was just brilliant. I haven't been since Freyja was a baby but hope they are still bouncing and rhyming away.

6. My waters breaking before going into labour with Theo. I was asleep in bed, woke up suddenly and just knew it was going to happen. I jumped out of bed just in time. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that once your waters break, it just keeps on coming! No one ever tells you this stuff! With Freyja I was already in hospital and well on my way when my waters broke, so this was a new experience.

7. Calling my mum to tell her I had a boy and her replying 'Great! Freyja has chicken pox'. Gah.

8. Theo's mimicking. He will repeat most things that you ask him to. Not so strange now he is 22 months but slightly odd as an 8 month old when this little talent started emerging. He would shout 'errow!' (hello) at everyone and people would literally do a double take and say 'that baby just said hello to me'.

9. Meeting up with my friends - who I used to spend entire lost weekends with, dancing, clubbing, shots of cider in the bathroom (yes, really - anything's game when you haven't slept for 32 hours), singing 'Eternal Flame' as if we really believed we were The Bangles.... Now we watch our children play together. How did that happen?

10. The fact that somehow, this is where I am in my life. It seems only yesterday that I was doing homework and trying to convince my parents to let me go out on a school night. And now I'm married with two children and all the wonderfulness (and reponsibility...) that it brings.

Cupcakes

2010-02-11T08:50:00.008Z

I discovered Lola's Kitchen in Metro yesterday on my way to work. I then spent a lot of the day just looking at all the beautiful cakes and trying to decide what excuse I had for ordering some.

The next birthday we have coming up in our household is Theo's in April. Fortunately, Lola's Kitchen is not just for girls:

And if you have a very special occasion coming up, check out their giant cupcakes:

Wow.

(Update: Hang on a minute here. I have just seen that it will cost £40 to get these delivered to me! £40!!! Maybe people in Catford aren't supposed to eat posh cupcakes..!!)

Natural History Museum

2010-02-06T19:24:00.011Z

We took the kids to the Natural History Museum today which was a lovely day out and one which we will definitely repeat. Though I do think my children are still a little too young for it. They did enjoy it but they probably got more out of our visit to the Science Museum a few months ago, which has two interactive sections, one aimed at under 5s and one called Launch Pad, which Freyja in particular went mad for.

However, the Natural History Museum, which personally I prefer, was still really good for them. The dinosaur section has completely changed since I last went and both kids really enjoyed that bit - particularly the couple of models of moving dinosaurs and the fantastic 'live' T-Rex who looks you right in the eye as you walk past his enclosure - it really is quite unnerving!

We did the museum in two parts - dinosaurs, mammals and the body in the morning, followed by lunch at Giraffe (which look a little longer to walk to than we expected, but we were rewarded with the bizarre sight of High Street Kensington packed out with New Zealanders celebrating their National Day, all decked out in fancy dress). We then returned to the museum to do the insects, birds, earth and volcanos before heading home.

Afterwards I asked Freyja what had been her favourite thing out of the whole day. We'd seen dinosaurs, a polar bear, a peacock displaying its tail and beautiful butterflies. We'd travelled through the centre of the earth and witnessed erupting volcanos. We'd even walked past a gang of grown men dressed as smurfs.

And the best thing according to Freyja? The shop.

My child, the consumer. Gah.

Theo likes trains

2010-02-05T12:07:00.001Z

Dressed for breakfast

2010-02-05T12:06:00.004Z

Leotard, tutu, dressing gown, sunglasses. Well, what do you wear for breakfast....?

Dear Dog Owner...

2010-02-04T17:27:00.014Z

Part of owning a dog is the responsibility that comes with it, and that responsibility includes cleaning up after it. As unpleasant as you may find it to scoop that poop, believe me it is far more unpleasant to be the unfortunate person who stands in your dog's shit. And even more unpleasant when that person is a 4 year old, wearing her brand new Kickers, whose immediate reaction is to burst into tears and lift up those new Kickers with her hands to have a look at the mess.

The streets of South East London are littered with it. I really do wonder how so many people around here seem to be totally unaware of their responsibility to other both people and to the place they live in. In what way do you think it is okay to let your dog shit all over the pavement that everyone else has to use and just leave it there?

Perhaps the issue is that you are just too stupid to understand how it works. In that case, let me talk you through it. Your dog poos. You pick it up using a bag - one which you have taken out with you because, you know, you own a dog. You put the bag in a bin. There are usually quite a few around. Some parks even provide bins solely for this purpose, imagine that!

Sadly, I suspect the real issue is that you just don't care about either your neighbourhood or other people. You probably even think it must someone else's responsibility. But actually it is yours.

If you can't be bothered to clean up your dog's mess, you shouldn't have a dog.

Together

2010-01-31T19:02:00.000Z

One of the delights of having two children is not only the fact that I can tell them to go and play together when I'm busy, but also just how wonderful it is when they are playing together and to watch their developing relationship. Seeing them being affectionate or laughing or playing or even just sitting with each other makes my heart swell. It's like my feelings for each of them get bundled together into one great big bubble of love.

Of course, they fight like cats and dogs much of the time. Freyja can be an introverted soul, enjoying her 'me-time', while Theo just likes to throw himself into it all and get involved. Freyja is sensitive and bossy, Theo cheeky and defiant, not always a happy combination. Theo wants to do everything that Freyja does, which is not always well received. And they'll do their utmost to be the one who is being thrown in the air by daddy or tickled by mummy.

But when they do play together, they seem to relish each other's company at a level beyond any of their other friendships. They get quite rowdy, fighting and tickling and chasing. They can make each other laugh and laugh. And increasingly they share hugs and kisses as well as games and laughter.

To anyone else, they probably have an indifferent relationship or one where Theo annoys Freyja and Freyja shouts at Theo and tells him to leave her alone. But to me, privy to their moments of hilarity and abandon, as well as those quiet times when Freyja climbs into Theo's cot in the morning and reads with him, it is something special.

Freyja is also very protective of her brother. While she will quite happily tell him to go away and leave her alone, if someone jokes that they are going to take him home with them, she's straight on the defensive, shouting 'no, you can't have my brother'. And when I use the old 'okay we are just going without you' trick on Theo, it's Freyja who throws the wobbly, tearfully sobbing to me 'you can't leave Theo, I love my brother'.

Whether their bond will last who knows? But it is one of my real hopes that my children will remain close friends throughout their lives. For now, I love that they have each other, a little buddy to play with, to eat with, to sit quietly with or to chase manically around house.

Molo Kids

2010-01-30T19:42:00.004Z

I have only ever bought one thing by Molo - a football print T-shirt for Theo - because they are quite expensive. But they are lovely - along the same lines as the Auntie Ollie clothes I mentioned in a previous post.

I just love the realistic prints and the bright colours. Little Sunflowers stocks a really good range and the girl's daisy print and butterfly print they currently have in stock are just beautiful.

I've put up pictures of a dress and skirt but you can also get tops, leggings and romper suits in the same prints.

Gorgeous!

Happy Ever After

2010-01-30T19:13:00.004Z

One of Freyja's current favourite bedtime stories at the moment is one about a little girl who rides on her toy unicorn to find out what makes people 'happy ever after'.

We read it tonight and afterwards I asked Freyja what would make her happy ever after. Without hesitation, she replied:

'Pizzas and pancakes, some nice smelling flowers, a beautiful handbag, ballet lessons and some pretty dresses'.

Okay.

She then asked me what would make me happy ever after. I told her that I'm happy when she and Theo and Daddy are happy.

'Anything else?' she asked

'Well, just being with you and Theo and Daddy'

She looked at me for a while, then said 'and some peace and quiet...?'