Contemplating School

Freyja received a First Day at School card over the weekend. I found her upstairs sat on her bed looking at it.


What she was actually doing was admiring the card, not thinking about school. But to me it was a bit lump-in-throat to see her sitting there as if quietly contemplating her future.

Bad day...

Had a bad day today.

My children are with my parents for the week again. I am fine with this, and enjoy the free time even though I miss them a lot. But last night I suddenly realised that I have no more what we call 'mummy days' - the days when I don't work - before Freyja starts school. I got all miserable and then all pissed off at my job because I have saved up holiday to take when Freyja starts school and for various reasons have been unable to book them off. I feel that I have had to prioritse work over my child at a time when I really, really want to be fully there for her. She is fine, of course - keeps saying 'yes, mum, you already told me' when I bring up various things about school being 5 days a week and her best friend going to a different school. But I still want to be concentrating on this right now.

I went into work today and was feeling very tearful. I opened all my emails up and just felt the resentment welling up inside me.

The truth is I am struggling big time to do my job in only 2 days in the office. Although I actually only reduced down by 4 hours a week, the fact that I am only present in the office 2 days and not 3 days has had a massive impact. I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed and I also feel cross because it should work, and somehow it just isn't.

Also, Freyja is still on the waiting list for her 1st choice school, which, now that I have been back to visit both schools and done a detailed analysis of each followed by hours of extensive research on the internet, is proving to be rather depressing as I now really, really want her to get in. Having got my hopes up that she would get a place by September, what has actually happened is she got to 1st place on the list and then last week slipped down to 3rd. Pants.

I also haven't bought Freyja's lunch bag, name tags or school shirts - and Sainsburys has completely sold out of age 4 and age 5 shirts in white!!

So I was mulling over all these terrible things - school, emails, no more shirts in Sainsburys - when my manager suddenly asked if I was okay and I promptly burst into tears. I try not to cry in work - partly because I work in a glass box and everyone can see, and partly because you just feel such a tit afterwards.

Luckily I have a very lovely manager who told me I must book off next Wednesday - the last day I will have with Freyja before she starts school. So I juggled things about a bit and agreed that I would work some extra days this week and was feeling a bit better about things.

I then left work to go to a dental appointment where I found that I need £500 worth of treatment and the dreaded words 'root canal' were mentioned.

Ug.

How to get a lie in - and dance at a wedding

My kids don't do lie ins. They are usually awake by about 6.30am - we get the occasional 7am. I usually put them to bed by 7pm and the odd late night doesn't make much difference to their wake up time. It doesn't really bother me - I'm a lark, not an owl.

But every now and again a late morning is appreciated. And it turns out that if I keep them up until midnight - then I get a lie in.

We went to a wedding over the weekend. I was worried about what to do with the kids once they got tired but they resolved the issue themselves.

At around 10pm, Theo climbed into his pushchair on the edge of a roaring dancefloor and went to sleep. And Freyja just danced and danced and danced until we all went home at midnight.

Wedding Cake

A few months ago my mum arrived at my house with a great pile of white & pink froth, tulle and ribbon, which turned out to be Freyja's dress for the wedding we were all going to. Freyja tried it on and didn't want to ever take it off again. On the day, she looked beautiful in it.


Though she did rather upstage the wedding cake.

Lovely lie ins...

I spent the night at my parents last night.

This morning at 6.30am the kids go in to see their grandparents, leaving me with a rare chance for a lie in. Five minutes later the door to the room I'm sleeping in, which is also the kids' bedroom, flings open:

Freyja: 'Mum!'

Me: 'Mmmmm?'

Freyja: ' We haven't got any toys. I'm coming to get something for us to play with'

Me: 'okay'

Freyja: 'And I'm being quiet so I don't wake you up'

At least the thought was there...

On missing my children.

I haven't seen my kids since Sunday. My parents are doing a lot of my childcare for me in August and my mum took them her place in Surrey for the week. They have had a fab time - been to see some horses, watched Toy Story 3, been to Chessington World of adventures. They haven't asked for me once!

And it's been lovely having some alone time with my husband. It's taken 3 days to have enough stuff in the dishwasher to justify running it. And I've only done one load of laundry.

God I miss them, though. I keep peeking in their rooms at their empty beds. I'm going to get them today and I can't wait to squish their little bodies in my arms.

Molly Brown and Aurora Fairies*

One of my close friends has two little girls - one called Flora and one called Thea. When I visit - with my Freyja and Theo - life gets tricky and none of us can remember what our kids are called anymore, let alone pronounce their names correctly. It's all Flayja and Fleeyo and Thraya and Thora.

Anyway, Thraya, sorry, Thea, is getting Christened soon.

What to buy, what to buy?

I do have a few ideas, but I've also been directed to a lovely little website called Molly Brown London, which sells beautiful jewellery, including great christening jewellery. One for the girls here, there are some very cute little crosses and hearts and things like that.

But my favourite is the magical Aurora Fairy collection - tiny little fairies bearing the 'gift' of beauty, love or song depending on which colour you choose. Pink for beauty, blue for love, and peppermint for song. Well, not really - the 'gift' is represented by a pearl. But it's very sweet.

I do really love these tiny, newborn bangles:

You can also get necklaces and bracelets for older children.

In this household, Sleeping Beauty still wins the favourite-princess-crown hands down. Even Theo is a little bit obsessed and can sing 'I know you, I walked with you, once upon a dream' from the Disney version pretty much perfectly. So any jewellery inspired by the tale is bound to be a winner.

Now, what should it be - beauty, love or song...?

*This is a sponsored post

Little Beau and playhouses

For a while now I've been contemplating getting one of those wooden playhouses for the garden. I think both kids will love it - but I'm not exactly sure where we would put it. We have just about enough space, but the way the garden is laid out - and the fact that I am very reluctant to lose any more of the folliage at the end of the garden, means that I just don't think there is a good spot for a playhouse to naturally slot into.

But, having discovered this lovely Little Beau website, I've slightly fallen in love with these playhouses:

They are cotton on an aluminum frame so you can put them up in your home but also taken them out into your garden, weather permitting. And then you can take them in again.

I love the different designs, and I love that they do boy and girl ones. We got Freyja a little shop which is done a similar style to these and it has proved to be a great purchase which is frequently played with.

So I'm picturing balmy summer evenings with the children making up fantastic games in the garden while Adrian and I sip rose wine.

The difficulty of course will be deciding which one to get...