A better way to spend the day...

Ah the power of the blog! Tell everyone something and the opposite will happen!

Freyja's sickness turned out to be to be mild - she was only sick the once and is absolutely fine now. Of course I had already told my childminder she had vomited, and decided I should probably keep her at home so....

...here I am wracked with guilt for not going to work (I am totally crap at 'pulling sickies' even if it was a genuine reason for not going). Freyja has complained a few times about her tummy hurting but that may well be because I keep asking her, sympathetically, 'How is your tummy feeling?' I need to justify to myself the fact that I have stayed at home.

We went up to Blythe Hill fields and had a play around up there. I bumped into a friend I haven't seen in ages and met a load of people who know Freyja and Theo - they have this whole other social life while I'm at work. Theo was befriended by a 10 year old boy which was all rather lovely until Theo got himself smacked in the face by a swing. We left then and went to collect things in the park to make a card with - leaves, twigs, half eaten apples, that sort of thing....




It saved my day and reminded me that I should never feel guilty about choosing to put my kids before my work.

Woohoo

We are going on holiday on Thursday! Woohoo!

One more day of work! Woohoo!

Freyja has just vomited everywhere. Arseflakes.

Please don't let her be sick. Not now.

Jet set kids

This morning, as we were getting ready to leave the house.

Freyja: Are we going to Dubai?

Me: Erm, no. Sainsburys.

Immunisations...

Theo recently has been displaying a rather worrying tendancy towards a strong will and a bit of a temper. He's always been my laid back boy, but he's obviously decided it's time to start asserting himself. It's a bit of a pain.

Last week he was due one of his immunisations - his MMR, I think, but the whole thing seems to change of a weekly basis so I'm never quite sure. I look him to the clinic and plonked him and Freyja into the play area. I reckoned we had a least 10 minutes - I was early, and they are never on time. No sooner had I sat down than up flashed Theo's name. Without thinking I called Freyja and grabbed Theo - expecting a bit of resistance from my daughter, of course, but not at all prepared for the almighty tantrum that Theo threw at having been so rudely plucked from his toys. I literally had to man-handle him out of the play area, all screams, thrashing and stiff legs, then had to put him down on the floor because I couldn't keep hold of him. I really, really did not appreciate being looked at by every single person in the clinic. Someone tried to help me by suggesting I take some of the toys with me. I know it was meant well, but the toys in question were basically softplay items and given that I was having trouble keeping hold of my boy as it was, I didn't think throwing a large sponge triangle into the mix was going to help. So I declined through gritted teeth, to which she gave me a look to say in that case I deserved everything I got.

We finally got into the nurse's room where she proceeded to ask me questions that I couldn't hear over the racket that Theo was still creating. I told her he was fine, despite appearances, resorted to blackmail to get Freyja off the seat that I needed to sit on, and then held Theo down while the nurse jabbed him. On the positive side, he was already yelling so much it didn't really make much of a difference .

The nurse then informed me that Freyja was due her pre-school booster - as I said, I can't keep up with it all - and booked me in for tomorrow. And it's Freyja who is the trickier one in these situations.

Dummy Fairy

So, anyway, the dummy fairy thing worked - it took about 4 nights before Freyja stopped asking for it, saying she wanted to give her presents back, asking for Theo's dummy...then she just stopped asking and that was it. It didn't disturb her actual sleeping and - joy of joys - I no longer have to go in and scrabble around under her bed at 3am looking for lost dummies. Hurrah!

Guess who...

11am - Freyja and I are in the middle of an intense game of Guess Who.

Freyja: Shit!

Me: What did you say?

Freyja: Shit.

Me: Ah. Do you know what that word means?

Freyja: It's what you say when you knock down all these cards.

Me: Oh. okay. Who did you hear that word from?

Freyja: Nainy (that's my mum).

Me: Oh. okay.

We carry on playing Guess Who.

For the record, I doubt very much she heard it from my mum. My dad, quite possibly, but not my mum. Could well have been me though. I don't swear much, but it was really stressful yesterday morning trying to get Freyja and Theo out of the car and into Cathy's house, without missing my train, all in the pouring rain...

I love this

And it just so happens that I need to get a new light for Freyja's room...

Butterfly Face Paint

We waited an hour and a half - in blazing 33 degree sunshine - for Freyja's butterfly facepaint:


And then went home, had an ice cream and washed it off at bath time. Had I known it was going to be an hour and half wait I would not have done it but after half an hour in the queue I felt there was no turning back. It was really nicely done but every single kid at Blythe Hill Festival wanted their face painted. My plan next time is to buy my own face paints, attempt some kind of butterfly or fairy before we leave the house and spend my time at the festival actually enjoying myself.

Still, at least Freyja was happy.

Big Cheesy Grin

My Thoughts on Two

I've been trying to write a post about this for ages, because it was a big thing for me when I was pregnant with Theo. Then there was an article in the paper over the weekend about the devastating affect that the birth of a second child had on one woman's feelings for her firstborn. I'd have died if I'd read that while pregnant with Theo. So here are my thoughts on two. (I really hope this doesn't annoy anyone - I've re-read and re-written loads of times and found it's very hard to write about without making it sound like I'm saying that it's much better to have more than one child. That is really not what I am saying at all and I actually think there is a lot to be said for sticking at one. But I obviously haven't stuck at one and can only write from where I am now.)

When I was pregnant with Theo I agonised about whether I was ready for a second child and whether I had had enough time with Freyja alone. I trawled the internet for information on having more children and ideal age gaps. I didn't really find anything to reassure me - just things like 'you will love your second child but differently' or 'your relationship with your first will change'. It sounded horrifying, to be honest - 'differently', translated to me as 'not as much' and as for a change in my relationship with Freyja, it didn't bear thinking about.

And then Theo arrived and I loved him immediately with all my heart and knew I couldn't bear to be without him. I didn't love him less or more, I loved him in that whole, total, unconditional way that I guess all mothers love their children. I was relieved to find that it's true - you just love your children and there isn't some dirty secret out there.

Of course a first child is a cherished thing. You have no other child to focus on so you focus completely on how exquisite they are, how funny, how special - you think they are the most amazing thing in the whole world. Secretly you think other people must be slightly envious of you for having this incredible child. Then your second child arrives - who you find is equally enchanting - and somehow this puts the whole thing into perspective. You realise that, yes of course they are sweet and lovely - but they are only really, totally enthralling to you (and your family of course). You stop being quite so silly about your first child - you don't stop loving your first child, or finding them any less interesting, but it's as if you can look at them more rationally. I don't know why this happens but every mother of more than one child that I've asked has said something similar - that having a second child puts things into perspective (although I have actually only asked about 3 other mothers, so it's not really valid) .

So I think having a second child does change something in your relationship with your first born, and while I know that probably sounds horrible if you have only one child, in reality it isn't horrible at all. I think it's a bit like the difference between an obsession and love. With the first one you can sometimes veer dangerously close to obsession (often without realising it - blogs dedicted to your child, anyone?!). Perhaps that passes with time anyway - but certainly once you've had a second child, it's out the window - or at least diluted. But the love remains unchanged.

I'm not sure that I would agree you love your children differently - I feel that I love mine the same and equally. I think you might LIKE them differently and that changes from day to day, and I imagine gets more pronounced as they get older and develop their own personalities and opinions.

For me having two has been a blessing and they are both my angels, the apples of my eye, my little stars, my life, my love - however you want to put it, both my children are 'it' for me.