My Boy

Have you seen me dancing?

This is Freyja dancing to Rhinestone Cowboy:


I think she's almost ready to join us on a girls weekend away...

Potty Practice

I have started about 3 separate posts now on how I have finally got round to potty training Freyja, but I'm not getting very far with them - in fact, in the time it's taken me to half write 3 posts, Freyja is practically out of nappies.*

We started about a month ago, it's gone much, much better than I expected - not difficult, given that I was convinced my daughter couldn't even tell when she was weeing and would never be toilet trained. Turns out she just hadn't felt the need to share it with me.

Anyway, she's pretty much dry at home. But at home I often leave her either with nothing on - in which case she goes to the potty herself - or with just knickers on and keep reminding her that she might need the toilet. I hadn't yet braved fully dressed and out of easy reach of a loo.

So yesterday we had the first trip out. I chose to go to the toddler group at the Ackroyd community centre, armed with 3 spare pairs of trousers, because it's very child friendly and has little child-size toilets. We left at 9.30am, got home at 11.45am, with Freyja still wearing the same pair of trousers she went out in - hurrah! And today we went to the park and she managed to stay dry again. I do have to keep asking her and reminding her that she doesn't have a nappy on but she is slowly starting to tell me when she needs to go too.

Unfortunately this morning she did wee on the sofa. Not the new sofa though (relax, Adrian!)

* not at night or for naps - we're a long, long way off from even trying that!

Bah

We did indeed have a terrible night.

I fed Theo at 10pm (he woke for it) and he then woke again at 1am but only settled for half an hour so I fed him again. And that was it, really. The longest stretch of sleep he lasted for was around 20 minutes so I was in and out all night. I fed him again at around 4.30am and he still didn't settle. Adrian then brought him into the bed with me and moved to the back room, as it was nearly time for him to get up anyway (he practically has to get up in the middle of the night to get to work on time).

Freyja did give me until almost 7am though, bless her. She's now eating dry Cheerios in front of the Very Hungry Caterpillar (DVD, not book, I'm afraid), Theo is on his first nap of the day, and I'm drinking tea and contemplating the day ahead...a trip out this morning then hopefully all three of us down for a nap after lunch, I think (hope).

3am - hurrah!

I will stop boring you all with my sleep - or lack of it - soon enough but just wanted to say that we had the best night so far last night. Theo was a bit unsettled after we put him to bed and we were up and down so I thought it was going to be a tough night. But I fed him at 10pm and the next I heard from him it was 3am. I was so happy I leapt out of bed and fed him without feeling like I was about to drop dead. I didn't even mind that he still woke up at 5.30am...!


I just know I will now have a terrible night...

Childrens Books

I've been tagged! Marvellous! My friend Rowan has tagged me to come up with my current five favourite children's books. After much deliberation, I have decided to go with:

Peepo
It was really difficult to choose between this one and Each Peach Pear Plum, but Peepo won out for me in the end because I love the detailed pictures, the rhymes and the little hole that you peep through on each page. I think nearly everyone must have been given at least one of these books as a new baby present - we were lucky enough to be given both of them by a good friend when Freyja was born.

Sharing A Shell
I've tried to choose different books to Rowan (with Lullabyhullaballoo being a popular choice here too), but this one just had to be included in my list as well. It is my absolute all time favourite and I'm always trying to persuade Freyja to let me read it to her at bedtime. I love the rhymes, the sweet little sea creatures and the glittery pages.

I Will Not Never Ever Eat a Tomato


I had to include a Charlie & Lola book because Freyja has quite a few of them and I always enjoy reading them to her. I think this is my favourite. It should be totally irresponsible given that it lists off loads of foods that Lola won't eat, but I just love the way Charlie comes us with these fantastic stories about what the food he is giving Lola really is and how it turns out that Lola knows all along what he is up to. Plus you just can't beat Charlie & Lola for great pictures.

There's a House inside my Mummy


This was one of the books that I bought Freyja when I was pregnant with Theo and she still asks for it from time to time, which I'm always pleased about because it's great to read. Again, it's the rhymes that do it and I love the cheeky ending.

The Very Hungry CaterpillarI know it's an obvious one, but it's a classic and it's great. I like how Freyja pretends to eat all the different food on the pages whenever I read it to her. Last time I took her to storytelling they were reading this book and Freyja spent the whole time attached to the storyteller pretending to pick the different food from the pages of the book. The storyteller found it amusing at first but after a while I think she was just annoyed...We also have it on DVD (strike me down!) and it's so lovely and gentle that I never feel guilty letting Freyja watch it. Well, maybe after the 5th time in one day (joke!) I must admit that Freyja does seem to prefer the DVD. Funny, that...

So that's my list. I've gone for my favourite ones rather than Freyja's because she likes pretty much any book and her favourites vary from week to week. Apart from 'Learning with Winnie the Pooh', which isn't a storybook at all but she just loves it (and I always kick myself for not removing it from the bedtime story pile!) Interestingly, she always asks me to read the 'Colours' section and Adrian to read the 'Time' section.

I'm going to tag Adrian, Sylke and Elsie Button.

That's not cricket

The first home cricket game of the season saw Freyja, Lola and Theo relaxing in the sunshine:


A proud Freyja walking her daddy off the field:


And underhand tactics as she started flashing the opposition (photo unfortunately taken just as she got to the end of the line of players):

So, what's it like then...?

I was asked this question at a recent party by no fewer than 5 of my friends. I either told them it was easier than the last time or I rolled my eyes and said it was impossible to leave the house...depending on what I thought they wanted to hear. The truth of course lies somewhere in between.

Some of the things I thought would be hard have turned out not to be so bad - like Freyja's reaction to her new baby brother , getting to the child minder on time in the morning and the breastfeeding. Other things have been harder than I expected - generally getting out and about with 2 children when it's just me, juggling bedtimes (still haven't worked that one out) and dealing with the nights again.

The shift from one child family to two child family is far easier to handle emotionally than the shift from couple to one child family. There is less of that shock at how much your life has changed - or maybe it's just that you have absolutely no time any more to think about it! Perhaps it's different if your first born was a complete angel and your second born is a horror, but I've definitely found Theo easier to deal with. I think partly this is because he is a more predictable baby than Freyja (though he definitely has his fussy times, I'm not being let off that easily!) but also because I am a more confident parent.

But there is no denying that the nights are as hard as ever - if not harder because to a certain extent you feel you've already done your time!! I told everyone that my expectations were that I would have a baby who would be like Freyja in terms of sleeping and I thought I would be able to handle it well, having been through the disturbed nights before. But if I'm honest I secretly hoped that this time I would have a baby who would sleep better. I do have a baby who sleeps better during the day but the nights are as disrupted as they ever were with Freyja and I have to admit it has taken me a while to accept it. I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I don't have a baby who is going to miraculously sleep through the night and it looks like I'm in for the long haul again.

But, all that aside, what has been most wonderful is the realisation that there isn't a big, dirty secret out there about first borns being more loved than subsequent children. I was so sure, despite what everyone told me, that there was no way I could love another child as much as I love Freyja. I felt a real sense of loss about our time together coming to an end and worried that I wasn't ready for another child. Well I'm pleased to report that not only am I utterly besotted with my second born but I don't feel any longing for my previous life. It doesn't feel as though things have changed, just that life has moved on - a natural progression. And not like I have lost something but in fact like I have gained.

A few people told me that the love would be different and that it would take longer to come with my second born but that has not been my experience. I fell for Theo straight away and I can't really differentiate the way I feel about the two of them - I just love them totally, completely and unconditionally and that is it.

Summary of a Bad Night

Last night none of us got any sleep. I put it down to the heat - I hope it's not a new phase...

6.45pm - Start getting Theo ready for bed. It takes almost an hour and a half to get him to sleep. It always takes a while, but this is the upper limit of how long he takes to settle.

9.00pm - Freyja starts crying. This is unusual - she does still sometimes wake in the night, but not usually this early. She wants another story (no) and then wants to come into 'mummy daddy bed'.

9.30pm - Freyja cries again. I sit with her on her rocking chair for 10 minutes. She's still trying for 'mummy daddy bed'. I explain that we haven't actually gone to bed yet.

10.00pm - I go up to bed and feed Theo before I go to sleep. He is sleeping in his moses basket in his cot. I pick him up and he's drenched. He's wearing a short sleeved vest and is in a 2.5 tog sleeping bag, which is really too warm for the weather but I don't have a summer one in his size (Freyja was a winter baby so her newborn stuff, which Theo is now using, is all for the cooler weather). I panic that he is overheating and decide to put him straight into his cot as it will be cooler than being in his basket.

11.30pm - Theo wakes up. I put it down to him realising he is in the cot and not his cosy moses basket. When I go in I discover he has done a massive poo. I change his nappy and vest and do my best to clean it off his sleeping bag. He has to stay in it as the other one in his size is a thick velour one which will most likely finish him off in this heat. See how prepared I am? End up feeding him again to get him back to sleep.

12.30am - Freyja wakes up. I go to her and settle her back to sleep.

1.00am - Freyja wakes up. I go to her and settle her back to sleep.

1.30am - Freyja wakes up. I go to her, take her sleeping bag off and settle her back to sleep.

2.00am - Freyja wakes up. Up to now I have avoided waking Adrian up as he's got a chest infection and hasn't been very well. But by this point I need some back up. Adrian goes to her and brings her into bed with us. She snuggles up but doesn't go to sleep.

2.30am - Theo wakes up. I go and feed him and he settles back to sleep fairly easily after his feed.

3.00am - Get back into bed. Freyja is still awake.

3.30am - I tell Freyja that if she doesn't try and go to sleep she'll have to go back to her cot.

3.45am - Freyja asks to go back to her cot and then goes to sleep.

4.30am - Theo wakes up. I feed him.

5.00am - Get back into bed, but Theo hasn't gone back to sleep. After two more attempts to settle him I bring him into the bed with us.

6.30am - Freyja and Theo wake up. The day begins.

Have I mentioned how tired I am?

Party Animal - Flora's 1st Birthday

Hunting for Worms with Afi

Siblings

Night Seven in the Lightly Household...

...and we're still not getting much sleep.

Previously, it was sort of on and off - some good nights, some bad, exactly the sort of thing you would expect with a newborn, possibly even a little better than you would expect, dare I say it (I dared, and therefore haven't had much sleep recently...) I count a good night as one where Theo feeds and then goes straight back to sleep - I'm not expecting any sleep through the night miracles here.

For a week now we've been having trouble settling him after one or both of his night feeds. On Saturday night I decided to leave him in his own room for the whole night - I think moving him in to ours when he woke for his 1am-ish feed was disturbing him more than necessary. I think it helped as he did sleep after the 1am feed but then he took ages settle after the 4am feed.

On Sunday night I decided to try a 10pm dream feed. This worked really well - he didn't wake up and then slept until 2.30am. Unfortunately I then spent an hour and half settling him back down only for him to wake up again at 5am. And I didn't even get that nice long stretch at the beginning of the night anyway because Freyja woke up at 1.30am and I had to go in to her.

Last night I tried the dream feed again. This time he only lasted until 1.30am - which he has previously managed without the dream feed (and he usually lasts until about 1am now anyway). He then didn't settle and at 3am, on the verge of dropping dead from exhaustion (that's what it felt like at 3am anyway) I banished Adrian to the spare room so I could bring Theo into the bed and get some much needed sleep. Except it didn't work! I fed him again and he still didn't go to sleep. By this point I was crying and it took every ounce of strength and patience to get up and soothe him to sleep - I walked and patted and eventually he went back down in his basket (which I had brought back into my room - we're really making progress here!!) He was up again at 5am and then again at 6am.

I don't know if he's sleeping too much during the day, getting over-tired in the evenings, if I need to give him longer to settle himself once he's fed, if I need to stay longer to settle him after the night feeds. I don't think he relies on me to go to sleep - during the day I never feed him to sleep and he settles quickly with a few pats and his dummy. Who knows?!!

I've been telling myself and everyone else that it really isn't that bad - he goes down at around 8.30pm and he sleeps until around 1am so I am getting some sleep in the early part of the night . It all seems so much better in the daytime when you look back on it and even as I'm writing this I think that I'm probably being rather dramatic and it isn't so bad really. I feel relatively okay once I've managed to get myself out of bed in the morning and he's such a good baby on the whole - predictable, goes down for naps easily and even his fussy times aren't too difficult.

But the thing is, at 3am when you've been up for 2 hours already for yet another night, it is that bad. Thank God for patience, deep breaths, mother love and wide, gummy smiles!