Cooking!

Gardening

We did a bit of gardening today to try and make the front of the house, which had become very overgrown, slightly more presentable. It was good fun, especially as Freyja really enjoyed it - she was helping the with weeding, digging and planting and wanted to know all about what we were doing.

Afterwards, I told her that we could make a little section of the garden just for her, to plant her own seeds and flowers in and asked her if she would like that. The answer?

'No!'

No!

This is Freyja's favourite word, usually shouted defiantly and often accompanied with a stamp of the foot. I am sure I have the most miserable 2 year old around.

'Would you like something to eat?' - 'No!'
'Would you like to play with your puzzle' - 'No!'
'Will you come here so mummy can get you dressed?' - 'No!'
'Are you ready to say to sorry?' -'No!'
'No banana!'
'No kiwi fruit!'
'No apple!'
'No green cup!'
'Not this one!'

If it isn't 'No!' it is 'No like'

'No like thunder'
'No like snow'
'No like this one' (that's the electric heater in the bathroom)
'No like coat' (to the gorgeous coat my mum wanted to buy her)
'No like glasses' (to the sunglasses my mum had bought her and which she had just been parading around in)

It is exhausting keeping up with her list of don't wants and dislikes. In fact, it is very difficult to get anything right at all in Freyja's world:

Me: 'Would you like an apple?
F: 'No!'
Me: 'Okay, how about a banana?'
cue frantic stamping, wailing and often throwing herself to the floor
F: 'No, want apple, want apple!!'

F: 'Watch Bob the Builder'
Me: 'Okay'
2 seconds later
F: 'No Bob the Builder, watch Caterpillar'
Me: Okay
2 seconds later
F: No Caterpillar, want Bob the Builder'

Arrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!

37 weeks

I had a lovely first day off, despite having to work in the morning.

My friend Harriet and her daughter Ruby came round for lunch then I had the midwife in the afternoon followed by a long promised trip to the park with Freyja. It felt different - like a weight was off my shoulders.

The baby's head is now 3/5s engaged. I was pleased - at my last appointment the head wasn't down at all and it was lying breech. This is apparently very normal with second pregnancies and often the head doesn't even engage until you go into labour. But yesterday it was right down - that will explain the constant trips to the loo. I know it doesn't mean I'm going to go into labour at any minute, but it does show that everything is starting to get ready. I am also measuring spot on for my weeks - 37 cms at 37 weeks pregnant. This is good because everyone keeps telling me how massive I am this time so now I can tell them that actually I am exactly as big as I should be! I asked the midwife for a guess at the weight and she thought it was around 6 pounds 4oz at the moment and I have 3 weeks or so left to go.

I have to say though that I do feel it could all happen at any moment. I had stomach cramps on Sunday night and it brought home to me how close it all is. I had a sudden panic about being completely unprepared in terms of what I would do with Freyja. At that time my sister was on holiday, my mum and dad were in Dubai, my friends Katie & Paul have just had their first baby and my friend Harriet was first point of call for Alice, who was overdue. Now my sister is back and Alice has just had her baby so I'm a bit more relaxed. Harriet will be my first point of call now and will come over until my sister arrives (or my parents if it happens after the 14th, which is what I'm hoping for). I suppose I'd better let my sister know this.

The logistics of having a second baby are a bit of a nightmare. There's no time to get worried about the birth - you're too busy trying to sort out what to do with the first one!

Finished

I've finished. Far from being a lovely relaxing last day at work I was tearing my hair out at 4.30pm because something I had to get finished wasn't working due to technical problems, I ended up dumping a massive amount of filing on my colleague and I was an hour late picking Freyja up from her child minder. Good job she doesn't charge £1 a minute, like some nurseries!

But I did manage to squeeze a quick lunch in with my team, was given the most beautiful bunch of flowers from my manager and a lovely card and collection (to spend on the baby but I may spend it on myself...!) from the office.

I waited in the drizzle for a bus, caught the train to Honor Oak, dashed to Cathy's in the increasingly heavy rain, trudged up the hill home in the pouring rain, got Freyja ready for bed and now, finally, I can stop.

Well, almost. I didn't quite get everything done at work and I'm going to have to do my half day from home tomorrow which I had booked off. When I go back, I'm definitely dropping the half day...

One more day to go...

I finish work tomorrow. I'll be 37 weeks pregnant, which is a week earlier than the last time. With hind sight, I should have stopped at least 2 weeks ago. I had no idea my second pregnancy was going to be so tiring.

After I had Freyja I said that next time round I would give myself longer off before the baby arrived. But then you get caught up in work and projects and earning money and suddenly find yourself committing to unrealistic deadlines and working for longer than you planned. Or that's what I do anyway. As it happens, work has been crazy this year, I've been run off my feet and have not completed any of the projects that I was working until the end of March in order the complete. But I am walking out of that door at 5pm (I have to pick up Freyja) tomorrow for the last time this year.

I am more than ready to clear my mind of work and focus on getting ready for the new arrival. I hope it doesn't make a surprise early appearance - I'd hate not to have had my hair cut, legs waxed and toes polished before it arrives....

Easter Egg Hunt

Adrian and I scored some parent points today.

We woke up to snow and sleet. We were supposed to be going to an Easter Egg hunt in Dulwich park at 11am. At 10.40am, sure it would be cancelled, I texted my friend who was organising it to see if it was still on. Unfortunately it was.

Suddenly feeling guilty that a little bit of bad weather was depriving Freyja of a half hour out in the park (and having not left the house in 2 days), we had a mad dash to get dressed and get the bus (still no car...) to the park where we then traipsed around in the mud and drizzle collecting cardboard eggs which were exchanged for chocolate eggs. It was actually good fun and a lot of our friends had turned up for it. Most of the toddlers had little bunny faces painted on for the occasion, but Freyja wasn't having any of that. Afterwards we all retired to the cafe for coffee and hot chocolate and congratulated ourselves on being such good parents (apart from the gorging on chocolate bit...)


That good deed set us up for the rest of the Easter Sunday - I spent the afternoon sleeping and then we headed round to Katie and Paul's for pizza and football.

And Adrian got me this egg from Hotel Chocolat:

36 week bump

Here it is at 36 weeks:


It has really grown in the last 4 weeks! The baby still doesn't seem to have settled at all. It is constantly on the move, squirming around and kicking and it particularly seems to like lodging itself under my right rib cage which is rather uncomfortable.

Preparing Freyja

I have, for the last few months now, been attempting to prepare Freyja for the arrival of her sibling. I had planned on leaving it until late into my pregnancy, but at the 20 week scan she cottoned on surprisingly quickly to the fact that there was a baby inside Mummy's tummy and left clutching her photograph tightly in her little hand. So, we've been talking babies for quite some time now.

Most days we have some sort of chat about what is in Mummy's tummy. She likes to hug it and kiss it and say 'aaahhhh' to it. However, she does also seem to think that she and Daddy have babies in their tummy's too. In fact, I think she might now believe everyone has a baby in their tummy...Unfortunately, when I ask her if she is going to help me look after the baby and if she is looking forward to the baby arriving, she tends to either ignore me or shake her head. So, I decided to branch out and get some books. I bought four off Amazon.

One is a really old fashioned book but I thought it would be good because it has photos. She does like to look at it but it's boring to read so I tend to hide it at the bottom of the bedtime book pile. One thing that is pleasing is that she thinks all the mums and dads in it are grandparents - this is both flattering for her real grandparents who are probably twice the age of those pictured and for me and Adrian who are at least the same age and most likely (in Adrian's case anyway...hee) older.

I also bought 2 picture books - 'Waiting for Baby' and 'My New Baby'. I like these because there are no words and Freyja can interpret the pictures herself. But the best one is 'There's a House inside my Mummy'. It's so much fun to read and Freyja loves it - she often asks for it and at the end, where there is a picture of the whole family, she points to the characters and says 'Daddy, Freyja, Mummy, Baby', which I'm taking as a good sign. In the book the little boy gets a baby brother, so we've started talking about brothers and sisters. She generally wants a brother, but I think that's because the little boy in the book gets a brother. And it may have something to do with the 'Koala Brothers' on Cbeebies which she really likes. I suspect she doesn't actually know what a brother or sister is.

I then decided we were ready to move onto more advanced techniques. I bought her a little doll family. She had been given a lovely doll's house but the original dolls had long gone so I wanted to get a little family to go in it. Now, as it turned out, it is surprisingly hard to find a doll family with a mum, dad, child and baby. I could get mum, dad and baby or mum, dad and two kids, but not what I wanted. Eventually I found it in Playmobil. She really likes them and plays with them a lot - although this often involves shutting the baby in the little cupboard. She also thinks the mummy is crying because of her painted eyelashes, which is perhaps not quite the message I want her to get. But anyway! The good thing is that she does seem to have grasped the family set up - Mummy, Daddy, child ('Freyja') and baby.

I don't really know if doing all this stuff will make one bit of difference, but if nothing else it has helped me to feel that I'm easing things for Freyja just a little bit. The goal now is to get through the final month unscathed - I've now been booted in the stomach by her so many times that I'm starting to wonder if it is accidental...

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

This afternoon one of many recent conversations I have had with Freyja about pregnant women, took an unexpected twist:

Me: 'What do you think is inside that big belly?' (pointing to a picture of Cass with a glass perched on top of her very pregnant belly)

Freyja: 'Cake.'

Getting Ready

35 weeks pregnant, 5 weeks to go until my due date, 5 days left at work...100s of things to do.

I've got all the old baby clothes down from the loft and have washed and even ironed (I never iron) all the newborn stuff - one pile of girls things for Katie to borrow and another pile of unisex stuff for me. The rest I have sorted into piles of 0-6 months, 6-12 months and 12months + (though there's not so much in that pile because she still fits most of that age range. I do like to get my money's worth...), put to one side anything that is unisex and squished the rest into Pack-mate Roll Bags ready to go back in the loft.

I've bought a swaddling blanket and made my first new baby clothing purchase - a pea green vest. I've started tackling the mountain of boxes that we have piled up in what will be the nursery and I've got bags full of things to go to charity.

I then had to go and lie down for 2 hours. I think I might be nesting.

Boy or Girl?

Everyone is asking me if I know what I'm having. Even the lady in the card shop today asked me and seemed genuinely shocked when I said I didn't know. She then predicted it was a boy. A lot of people have predicted boy this time. I think people predict boy because, having a girl already, they think it is what I want to hear.

I didn't want to find out this time. I didn't find out last time either (though I wavered a bit more that time) and one of the few clear memories that I have about the whole labour experience is the moment just before and just after I realised that I had had a girl. I can picture with complete clarity that split second when she was pushed up onto my chest, seemingly enormous (all 6 pounds 10 of her....) and it didn't even cross my mind to find out what she was. Just a tiny fraction of time when she could have been either and all I could think of was that it was my baby. And then the rush of excitement when I realised we had had a girl and that was what I had wanted all along (of course...!)

Everyone assumes you want to have one of each, and before I had Freyja I assumed that too. But I can honestly say that I don't mind what I have now. I love having a girl and think that it would be wonderful to have two sisters together - I picture all the things I would do with my daughters and imagine Adrian, content with his gang of girls, who all delight him and exasperate him in equal measure. But of course it would be lovely to have a boy too. Just before Christmas, I walked past a group of young children singing in the street. The 2 soloists were boys and as I watched them singing, all crystal voices ringing in the air, suddenly I was longing to have a boy.

On the practical side, I think of all of Freyja's gorgeous clothes which I could reuse and how if I have a girl I'll be justified in spending the money on some ridiculously pink Wendy House and kitchen set. But then I imagine Adrian playing football with his son and signing him up for the Gentleman's Relish Cricket Team. Oh, hang on, I think he might be planning on doing that with Freyja anyway. I'll stop stereotyping now - she can kick a ball better than I can and she's only two.

What do I think? Well, if I had to choose I'd go for girl, mainly because that's what I know, but I haven't had any strong feelings one way or the other so I'll just wait and see and whatever it is, it will be a lovely surprise.

Artwork

I am proud to present Freyja's first piece of proper artwork!! She made an umbrella today at the playgroup that she goes to on a Monday:

Christening

On our way back from Flora's Christening today the timing belt on the car broke and we found ourselves stuck just outside London, waiting for a tow truck to come and rescue us. Thank goodness I wasn't driving at the time because I suspect I would have panicked just a little bit to find myself suddenly driving a car that wasn't responding at all.

The only other Christening (other than my own and my sister's which I'm not counting) that I've been to involved similar car troubles. That time we didn't even manage to get out of London - the car just wouldn't start. Cue mad dash to the train station only to find that due to engineering works we could only get so far and had to phone and beg a lift from one of the other guests.

We seem to have this thing about cars and Christenings - I fear God is telling us something...

The Christening was lovely - Adrian and I are now the proud Godparents to Flora. I've already promised shopping trips for unsuitable shoes followed by cocktails when she is old enough. I think that is what a Godmother is supposed to do...maybe that's why our cars keep breaking down.

Baby de Cozar Rushforth!

I've just come back from visiting Katie and her new baby girl in Lewisham hospital. It was a rather dramatic delivery yesterday night, but you would never know to see the two of them now. Baby looks so content and is feeding beautifully and Katie is glowing. Paul looks pretty chuffed with himself too!

Going back to the maternity ward brought all those special memories back and now I just can't wait to have this new little one. I spent all day yesterday just thinking about Katie and what might be happening and getting the news this morning was wonderful. The very funny thing was that, having been the most prepared parents-to-be ever, with hospital bags packed and ready to go for over a month, Adrian and I both had to make separate trips to the hospital to deliver items they had forgotten to take with them. Well, would you give birth without your handbag?

Katie and Paul, we love you loads and loads!

Passed!

Hurrah! 12 years after having my first driving lesson I have finally passed my test! I first took lessons at university but never felt comfortable and eventually the lure of various parties and The York Arts Centre got the better of me. I never got round to taking a test.

Then, a few years later, when I had a moved to London, I decided to give it another go. This time I did get round to taking the theory test but eventually the lure of Adrian, who I had just met, proved too great and I stopped taking lessons.

At the end of my maternity leave after having Freyja, I booked some lessons only for the driving instructor to double book himself for my very first lesson and forget to cancel me. It took me a year to get round to arranging lessons again.

Finally, in September last year, I booked some more lessons and yesterday, at last, took and passed my driving test.

It wasn't straight forward though. My test was booked for 10.14am and I was sat in the waiting room, a bundle of nerves, when one examiner came out, called the name of the only other person waiting and then asked me what I was doing there as there were no other tests booked for that time. Oh God! Turned out that my test had been cancelled the day before and I hadn't picked the message up - there was a slot available that afternoon if I wanted it, otherwise I would have to wait until May.

I was very stressed out and upset and thought there was no way I was going to be in the right frame of mind for that afternoon, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise - I'd been really nervous that morning and when we returned in the afternoon I was much calmer. I can't believe how good it feels to have passed - I was nearly in tears I was so happy!

I never really minded not driving until I had Freyja and then it became a bit of an issue - I couldn't easily get to my parents when they were here, trying to juggle a pushchair and umbrella in the pouring rain and the fact that we still had to do the food shopping on the weekend, even though I don't work on Thursdays and Friday, became annoying. And with another on the way (6 weeks to go!) I really felt I had to get my licence. I don't think I'll be driving everywhere now, but it will be nice to have that little bit more freedom. Hurrah! I can't believe how good I feel about it!!

No Cameras....

Nappy Time

The other day Freyja informed me, as she often does, that Dolly's nappy needed changing, and marched off to do the job, taking the changing mat and wipes out of my bag.


I promise I don't use that many wipes when I change Freyja's nappy...