The Birth
Warning - only read if you want an account of the birth (and a rather boring one at that but it's taken me so long to write I don't care any more)!
It wasn't really like Freyja's birth - I'd kind of expected a similar but shorter and easier experience. Obviously it may just be that after 2 and half years and a lot of gas & air, I just can't really remember the details of Freyja's birth - already Theo's birth seems that it wasn't that bad but I know that at the time I thought I was going to die with the pain. I think what it probably was was a shorter but more intense experience.
Anyway, the first indication that it wasn't going to be the same was at 1am on Friday morning when my waters broke, before I had actually gone into labour. This didn't happen with Freyja until I was well on my way, 7 cms dilated and in the hospital. I hadn't factored this into all my plans for going into labour and who would look after Freyja, but as it turned out, my parents had arrived to stay on Thursday so the timing couldn't have been better. I'd got up to go to the loo and was lying back in bed and I just knew it was going to happen. I jumped out of bed just in time (it's an expensive mattress, you know).
I wasn't having any contractions at this point but you are supposed to phone the hospital which I did and after much questioning about whether I was really sure it was my waters and I hadn't just wet myself (well, it is still coming out now...) Adrian and I went in. It was quite strange being there, knowing it was going to start soon but not actually being in labour - I was just checked over, advised to take my temperature every 4 hours as there was now a risk of infection, sent home and told to come back when I was in labour, or on Sunday morning to be induced - whichever came first.
We got home at about 3am and I had already started feeling mild cramps. We went back to bed and I tried to get some sleep but was now having mild contractions. By about 4am/4.30am they were getting stronger and closer together and by 5am we called the hospital back, woke my dad up to drive us there and got ready to go. By the time we got into the car I was in considerable pain and having contractions about every 4 minutes apart.
We got to the hospital at 6am, I told them I was having contractions every 4 minutes and they took us to a room and left us to it for a bit. I actually think by this point I was having contractions much closer together and within about 10 minutes of arriving I was starting to tear my hair out with the pain. The midwife still hadn't come so I was dealing with them with no pain relief at this stage and what had surprised me was how quickly they had gone from painful but manageable to absolute agony. I do remember feeling I had lost control a little bit at this stage and all sorts of things about never ever having another baby and that there was no way I was going to be able to stand this were going through my head (and coming out my mouth...).
Adrian went to find someone and the midwife came in and got the gas and air for me. As soon as I had that I relaxed bit - it doesn't really take the pain away so much as makes you feel a bit light headed and gives you something to really focus on throughout the contraction. Even just breathing deeply helps - the contractions that were hard were the ones I let get on top of me where as if I really kept focussed on something - breathing, the second hand on the clock, whatever - I could handle them better. I really did go for it with the gas and air though - Adrian told me after that at one stage he nearly told me to steady on with it, but decided against it...!!
I then felt the urge to push - at first I thought I was going to be sick, but it happened again and the midwife asked me if I was pushing and I realised that was what it was. The midwife checked me, said I was fully dilated and could go ahead - we'd only been there about half an hour by this point and I remember feeling relieved that I was already so far. The pushing was easier than it had been with Freyja, mainly because I knew a bit more what I was doing and I also felt the urge more strongly than I had with her. I found it more manageable then - just as the contraction reached the point of being unbearable, the urge to push would kick in and take over.
After a while I remembered that the pushing stage can last as little as 5 minutes and I seemed to have been doing it for quite a while so I asked the midwife how I was doing. She said the baby was coming but I wasn't maintaining the push for long enough so he kept slipping back. This is exactly what happened with Freyja but this time I found it easier to deal with and started going for it a bit more with the pushing. This quite quickly brought his head right down but then he sort of got stuck half way out. Now that I can tell you was painful. The midwife was rubbing my tummy to try to keep the contractions coming, she had Adrian, who was absolutely brilliant throughout the whole labour, holding one leg, me holding both legs, both of them spurring me on, trying to get me to push as hard as I could. This was the stage that I started to feel something wasn't quite right. I remember looking down and seeing his head and thinking how quiet he was - Freyja had been letting out little squeaks by this stage. The midwife was brilliant - she was encouraging me very enthusiastically at this point, but never to the point of making me scared. She then told us that his cord was round his neck and tried to pull it over but it was too tight and she had to cut and clamp it. And then she told me we had to get him out and to push - so I really pushed and I remember thinking I don't care if I rip to pieces (which it certainly felt like - but I didn't actually tear at all) and out his head came and then, after a few more pushes, his body.
I'll never forget seeing him come out. With Freyja she had been delivered onto my chest, but Theo was bright blue and still and silent and I really wasn't sure he was still with us. I do know that it is actually quite common for babies to be born blue, with cords round their neck, no heartbeat, not breathing etc, but that doesn't prepare you at all, after hours of pain and exhaustion, for seeing your own baby all limp and lifeless. I did lose it a little. The midwife whipped him off the second that he came out and told Adrian to hit the button - I remember her saying 'crash baby', me shouting (well sort of whimpering really...I didn't have the energy to shout), Adrian holding me and then the room was full of midwives doing their thing. It must only have been seconds but it felt an eternity and then one midwife turned to me and said 'it's fine, it's fine'.
We still didn't know what sex we had had - Adrian went to look at him (just to make sure he actually was fine...!) and said 'it's all fine - and I know what we've had'. I asked him to tell me but he said no, I want you to see for yourself. I knew then it was a boy.
I was hoping to go home that day but his blood test came back showing an excess of something to do with stress so he had to be monitored 4 hourly until the next day. I can't tell you how disappointed I was especially as I knew Freyja, with her chicken pox, wouldn't be able to visit. Still at least it would give a chance to rest and sleep....or so I thought! Theo, of course, had other ideas...!!
My memories of the birth are already fading and taking on a rather warm glow - it's amazing how those hormones kick in. Already I think it wasn't really that bad and maybe I could do it one more time...!!
It wasn't really like Freyja's birth - I'd kind of expected a similar but shorter and easier experience. Obviously it may just be that after 2 and half years and a lot of gas & air, I just can't really remember the details of Freyja's birth - already Theo's birth seems that it wasn't that bad but I know that at the time I thought I was going to die with the pain. I think what it probably was was a shorter but more intense experience.
Anyway, the first indication that it wasn't going to be the same was at 1am on Friday morning when my waters broke, before I had actually gone into labour. This didn't happen with Freyja until I was well on my way, 7 cms dilated and in the hospital. I hadn't factored this into all my plans for going into labour and who would look after Freyja, but as it turned out, my parents had arrived to stay on Thursday so the timing couldn't have been better. I'd got up to go to the loo and was lying back in bed and I just knew it was going to happen. I jumped out of bed just in time (it's an expensive mattress, you know).
I wasn't having any contractions at this point but you are supposed to phone the hospital which I did and after much questioning about whether I was really sure it was my waters and I hadn't just wet myself (well, it is still coming out now...) Adrian and I went in. It was quite strange being there, knowing it was going to start soon but not actually being in labour - I was just checked over, advised to take my temperature every 4 hours as there was now a risk of infection, sent home and told to come back when I was in labour, or on Sunday morning to be induced - whichever came first.
We got home at about 3am and I had already started feeling mild cramps. We went back to bed and I tried to get some sleep but was now having mild contractions. By about 4am/4.30am they were getting stronger and closer together and by 5am we called the hospital back, woke my dad up to drive us there and got ready to go. By the time we got into the car I was in considerable pain and having contractions about every 4 minutes apart.
We got to the hospital at 6am, I told them I was having contractions every 4 minutes and they took us to a room and left us to it for a bit. I actually think by this point I was having contractions much closer together and within about 10 minutes of arriving I was starting to tear my hair out with the pain. The midwife still hadn't come so I was dealing with them with no pain relief at this stage and what had surprised me was how quickly they had gone from painful but manageable to absolute agony. I do remember feeling I had lost control a little bit at this stage and all sorts of things about never ever having another baby and that there was no way I was going to be able to stand this were going through my head (and coming out my mouth...).
Adrian went to find someone and the midwife came in and got the gas and air for me. As soon as I had that I relaxed bit - it doesn't really take the pain away so much as makes you feel a bit light headed and gives you something to really focus on throughout the contraction. Even just breathing deeply helps - the contractions that were hard were the ones I let get on top of me where as if I really kept focussed on something - breathing, the second hand on the clock, whatever - I could handle them better. I really did go for it with the gas and air though - Adrian told me after that at one stage he nearly told me to steady on with it, but decided against it...!!
I then felt the urge to push - at first I thought I was going to be sick, but it happened again and the midwife asked me if I was pushing and I realised that was what it was. The midwife checked me, said I was fully dilated and could go ahead - we'd only been there about half an hour by this point and I remember feeling relieved that I was already so far. The pushing was easier than it had been with Freyja, mainly because I knew a bit more what I was doing and I also felt the urge more strongly than I had with her. I found it more manageable then - just as the contraction reached the point of being unbearable, the urge to push would kick in and take over.
After a while I remembered that the pushing stage can last as little as 5 minutes and I seemed to have been doing it for quite a while so I asked the midwife how I was doing. She said the baby was coming but I wasn't maintaining the push for long enough so he kept slipping back. This is exactly what happened with Freyja but this time I found it easier to deal with and started going for it a bit more with the pushing. This quite quickly brought his head right down but then he sort of got stuck half way out. Now that I can tell you was painful. The midwife was rubbing my tummy to try to keep the contractions coming, she had Adrian, who was absolutely brilliant throughout the whole labour, holding one leg, me holding both legs, both of them spurring me on, trying to get me to push as hard as I could. This was the stage that I started to feel something wasn't quite right. I remember looking down and seeing his head and thinking how quiet he was - Freyja had been letting out little squeaks by this stage. The midwife was brilliant - she was encouraging me very enthusiastically at this point, but never to the point of making me scared. She then told us that his cord was round his neck and tried to pull it over but it was too tight and she had to cut and clamp it. And then she told me we had to get him out and to push - so I really pushed and I remember thinking I don't care if I rip to pieces (which it certainly felt like - but I didn't actually tear at all) and out his head came and then, after a few more pushes, his body.
I'll never forget seeing him come out. With Freyja she had been delivered onto my chest, but Theo was bright blue and still and silent and I really wasn't sure he was still with us. I do know that it is actually quite common for babies to be born blue, with cords round their neck, no heartbeat, not breathing etc, but that doesn't prepare you at all, after hours of pain and exhaustion, for seeing your own baby all limp and lifeless. I did lose it a little. The midwife whipped him off the second that he came out and told Adrian to hit the button - I remember her saying 'crash baby', me shouting (well sort of whimpering really...I didn't have the energy to shout), Adrian holding me and then the room was full of midwives doing their thing. It must only have been seconds but it felt an eternity and then one midwife turned to me and said 'it's fine, it's fine'.
We still didn't know what sex we had had - Adrian went to look at him (just to make sure he actually was fine...!) and said 'it's all fine - and I know what we've had'. I asked him to tell me but he said no, I want you to see for yourself. I knew then it was a boy.
I was hoping to go home that day but his blood test came back showing an excess of something to do with stress so he had to be monitored 4 hourly until the next day. I can't tell you how disappointed I was especially as I knew Freyja, with her chicken pox, wouldn't be able to visit. Still at least it would give a chance to rest and sleep....or so I thought! Theo, of course, had other ideas...!!
My memories of the birth are already fading and taking on a rather warm glow - it's amazing how those hormones kick in. Already I think it wasn't really that bad and maybe I could do it one more time...!!
posted by solveig at
12:48 pm
3 Comments:
ooh, that made me all emotional - I got a bit teary at the end.
I know what you mean - the pain of contractions in advanced labour are something else, you really feel like you're going to die. But once you start pushing, its a more productive kind of pain - especially when you can bite down on the gas n air mouthpiece :)
I think quick births are just v intense - Jacob took under 3 hours, without any early labour, so I can empathise just what you went through.
In retrospect, I think we should have complained about the treatment of the midwives during my labour, but at the time, just the sheer relief of having a healthy baby and the happy hormones kicking in meant that we never considered it. Sounds like your midwives were ace, once Adrian managed to rustle one up to help (they always seem to be skiving off having a cup of tea - Doug spent ages trying to get one to come in to me).
Same reaction here as Rowan had...! My goodness how stressful it must have been to see Theo all blue. I'm so glad it all worked out fine. :)
Me too! Just wiping away a tear... So glad everything turned out ok tho - how scary!! My water also broke first but I didn't go into labour at all until they induced me a day later - weird huh?
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