Breastfeeding

Okay, I started to get a little bit suspicious about this whole breastfeeding lark when I was handed a stack of leaflets in the hospital that turned out to be breastfeeding guidelines, helplines, emergency numbers, counselling...hang on, don't I just point her in the right direction and away we go?

Well maybe some people do, but not for me. Ouch! I spent the first few days panicking that my milk wasn't going to come in. Then on around day 4 they suddenly started going rock hard, which is them filling up, but I still wasn't convinced all was well.

I soon however stopped worrying about whether there was any milk there (I am, shall we say, more of a Kate Moss than a Pamela Anderson in the breast department and while I know that size doesn't matter I couldn't help worrying. Although, once the milk came in, boy if I hadn't turned into a Pamela Anderson, complete with a rock hard pair of very round implants!) because after seemingly having no problems getting Freyja latched on, I was in agony.

Time and again the midwife checked the latch, and time and again she said it was fine. But I was sick with dread at every feed and particularly the right hand breast was agonising. Freyja was a very sucky and hungry newborn - she feed frequently from very early on, so no sooner had I finished a feed than I was already starting to dread the start of the next one. I was fine once she was latched on, but getting her on was horrendous. I had a laceration across the right nipple that was excruciating. I spent those first 2 weeks walking round with my breasts out getting air to my nipples. Dressed, I had to wear a supportive bra, not because my breasts needed the support but because my nipples were so sore I couldn't have any material rub against them. And don't even ask about having a shower. I'm sobbing just thinking about it.

My saviour was the discovery of two things. First for the nipples, Lansinoh Nipple Cream - the only one of the many types I tried that actually worked. It will be on my top 10 list, when I get round to doing that.

Secondly, it was discovering the Kelly Mom website, where I found out how breastfeeding actually works and that it is completely normal for a newborn to feed very frequently, and that it wasn't a problem with my supply and I didn't have to consider giving her a bottle of formula (thank you very much, Health Visitors).

The pain lasted about 2 weeks, but the constant feeding went on a lot longer. I said I would give it to 6 weeks and then reassess. Everyone says that things settle down after 6 weeks. I originally thought that something miraculous would happen to the baby at 6 weeks but I realise now that it takes 6 weeks for you to fully adapt to your new life, and you can just deal with it all better. In the early days she used to feed frequently during the day and then from about 5/6pm would be attached to my breast until 11/12pm. If she wasn't on my nipple she was crying - I used to eat my dinner with her feeding at the same time. By 3 months I was still often feeding her every 2 hours in the day and it didn't really settle down into any kind of pattern until she was established on solids. I found this the other day. It is a little record I noted down of Freyja's daytime feeding:

January 18th

8.00 - fed for 45mins
9.00 - crying
9.45 - fed for 15mins
11.00 - fed for 15mins
11.30 - 12.50 - slept
1.00 - fed for 20mins
1.30 - 3.30 - slept (Jenner Group)
3.40 - 5.00 - fed on & off
5.50 - 6.30 - fed

I am glad a held out. I am proud that I breastfeed Freyja, one of only a few mums I know who does. I don't really have anything against formula - I was formula fed myself (much to my horror when I found out!) - but I feel I have given her the best start in life.

And it's free - Hurrah!