Some rather special pop-up books

As well as children's clothes (in particular, pyjamas, I am realising) and nice wallpaper, I am also slightly addicted to kids books.

I'm always picking up new ones in the Sainsburys 2 for 3 offers, and from Amazon. And I tend to choose for me rather than just the kids. Well, I do have to read each one 95 times before we can move on to the next, so I think its fair enough to pick ones which I like....

So when Freyja's friend received a beautiful pop-up Alice in Wonderland book for her birthday I had to track it down.

It is by someone called Robert Sabuda, who appears to be a bit of a whizz at a pop-up books.

I bought mine from Amazon:


I ended up buying the Alice in Wonderland book for Freyja and Peter Pan for Theo.

Finding his Fingers

Right from when he was tiny, Noah looked like he might be a thumb or finger sucker. He has tried and tried to get those fingers into his mouth and has repeatedly rejected the dummy. I have stopped offering him one now as he doesn't particularly need it - he is a much less 'sucky' baby than my other two were, I could not have survived without a dummy with either of those two. However, he has continued to try and get his fingers into his mouth and in the last week, has started having some success.



It's still very hit and miss so I'm not sure yet whether he will end up sucking his thumb or fingers. But it's great when he manages to soothe himself to sleep.

Bracelet

My new bracelet:



Made by Theo, who drives me completely barmy on a daily basis, and then spontaneously kisses me, or calls me his 'lovely mummy' or tells me he loves me or asks for a cuddle. Or presents me with a bead bracelet when I collect him from playgroup.

All the more treasured because he's not particularly into his arts & crafts...!

Reclaiming our evenings

We have tackled the evenings. Up until the weekend, Noah had been spending every evening downstairs with us, usually falling asleep at around 8.30/9pm and then up to bed with us, fed and popped into his basket. I have been making excuses as to why this needs to continue. He's too little, he's too awake, he's not ready. I'm not ready!

On Sunday, something switched in me and I realised I needed some time for myself again. Three kids really can feel overwhelming at times and when you don't even have those precious few hours in the evening, it can feel like there is no escape.

Up until the weekend I enjoyed those evenings with Noah. He was our little buddy. But suddenly it felt right to try to get all the kids to bed together. Noah is also bursting out of his moses basket and we would soon be forced to move him into his cot anyway.

The first night took an hour and half of sitting and feeding and patting. The next night took an hour. Last night took an hour but more going up and down rather than just sitting with him in the room. Last night, he also spent the entire night in his room for the first time and it was the best night we have had in quite a while, with only one 3am feed (we have regressed somewhat on the sleeping front - arrghhh!).

It feels wonderful to have some of our evenings back again, or at least to be on track to reclaiming them. It feels sad to have moved out of the real baby stage where they sit up with you all evening. It feels good to have a bedtime routine that involves all three of our children. It feels sad to know he won't be sleeping right by me anymore (well, not for the whole night at least...) It feels good to see some normality returning to our evenings.

It feels sad knowing I will never again experience that crazy, wonderful, exhausting, amazing newborn phase. Though not sad enough to have a fourth...

More lovely wallpaper

Completely love these two wallpapers from Paperboy Wallpaper. And now I have two boys who will eventually share a room I think I can justify the purchase. Though I may go for curtains instead of wallpaper.

I just can't decide between dragons or dinosaurs. Theo loves both.

Sticky Situation

Last Saturday morning, I was changing Noah's nappy when I found inside a rather mangled and half digested sticker. A gold and pink one.

Once I got over the initial surprise, I felt rather relieved that my 3 and a half month baby had managed to safely swallow and pass out a sticker. I also felt rather idiotic for allowing my other two children to constantly litter my entire house with stickers. Including regularly sticking them on their baby brother's top, one of which had obviously found its way onto his hand and then into his mouth.

Two days, and a lot of green poo later, Noah wasn't very well and was regularly screaming in pain. As it turned out, he most likely had a stomach bug, but it took a lot of worry and a call to the doctor for me to stop feeling convinced that the sticker had caused some sort of internal damage.

He has now recovered. But he is back to waking for a feed at around 2am, as well as the usual 4/5am. Sob.

New Room

We have moved Theo into what used to be our guest room at the back of the house. He now has loads of space to play in and the transition has been much easier than I feared it would be.

Noah's cot is now set up in the box room next to ours, but he is still sleeping in our room in his moses basket. It's the longest we've kept one of our babies in with us but he's sleeping so well that I don't want to do anything that might interrupt it. We will eventually be forced to move him as he's getting quite big for his basket. But for now, sleeping at night trumps space to sleep in.

Feeding

While things with sleeping at night are good, one area that can be bit up and down is the feeding. Noah has been a very hungry baby, rapidly gaining weight in the first 3 months and jumping from the 50th centile to the 91st! He has settled down in the last 2 weeks and his weight gain has levelled off thank goodness. At 14 weeks he now weighs 6.7kg (14.12lbs - back to around the 50th centile).

He fed well from the start and most feeds are fine. However, often I find that at least one feed a day results in him screaming. Really, really screaming. He latches on, starts to feed and then pulls off and yells. It's not every feed, or even every day, and very rarely at night. I think it usually occurs when I misread the signs and feed him before he is really ready and at other times when he gulps down without breathing enough! I'm pretty sure it is some kind of disgestion/wind/discomfort issue.

He possets after most feeds, something Freyja and Theo never did, and he needs more winding than they did. I never used to wind them, but Noah burps like a trucker.

He is also a bit of a biter...

Sleeper

I am terrified of jinxing it, but so far Noah is turning out to be my best sleeper. I can hardly believe my luck.

It was an uncertain first few weeks as he woke frequently to feed through the night and would only sleep in the bed with us. But the last month or so has been really good. He does wake to feed in the night, usually between 3am and 4am, but it is just a half hour feed then straight back in his basket and back to sleep. No pacing, patting, walking or rocking. Of course we have the odd unsettled night - only a few days ago he woke at 1.30am and didn't settle until 6am. But most nights are easy. And we have even had a few where he has slept straight through. Last night was the best yet, from 10pm to 7pm. At only 14 weeks I think this is great, certainly for one of my children anyway.

We have not been able to get him down in his cot the evenings - he just sleeps for 10 minutes then wakes and cries. So far we have not tried to make it happen, I am very aware of him being my last baby and how quickly this time will pass. So he spends the evenings downstairs with us, still often asleep or just in his bouncer, having a feed if he gets fussy, and then he comes to bed when we go some time between 10pm and 11pm. Then I feed him and he goes straight to sleep. I am tired, feeding in the night is still quite draining, but I do not feel as though I am trying to function through a fug of sleep deprivation.

He is a cheerful baby, full of gummy smiles for me and Adrian and particularly for Freyja and Theo. He gurgles and coos and laughs and as long as he is fed and has enough naps then he is content (give or take the odd digestive issue that he suffers from!) Though I make no predictions as to how he will turn out - neither Freyja nor Theo have the personalities that I thought they would have from their baby temperments.

Photo Update

Family Reunion

My dad's side of the family is huge. He is one of 6 children and those 6 children have all had at least 3 children each. I have 23 first cousins and they are all on my dad's side.

Many of those cousins have started having children now as well. And on Saturday a group of us got together for a family reunion.

There were loads of us, even though there are many more who weren't able to come. My Icelandic side of the family is spread far and wide, many of my relatives I have never even met and most I have not seen in years. But as is often the case with these things we all had a wonderful time and promised not to leave it so long in the future. And I think we might actually keep that promise.

Ballet Birthday Party

Freyja requested a ballet birthday for her party this year. I thought it would fairly straightforward but it seems there is lots of ballet birthday party stuff in America and not so much here unless you want to go for Angelina Ballerina. Which Freyja didn't.

I did find these great ballerina cupcake toppers from the Twinkle Toes range by Meri Meri (I got them from partyark). I then lovingly bought some pink and yellow cupcakes from Ocado and decorated them.


We had lots of pink (though I am pleased to report that pink has been ousted by yellow as the favourite colour), tutus for the girls to wear, a ballet craft activity and some ballet table confetti and napkins. No one noticed, of course, but I enjoy getting it all ready (though the actual party, not so much...). And Freyja was pleased, which is the main thing.


I found these sweet little ballet party bags on ebay which I filled with some ballet shoes hair clips, bubbles in a ballerina bottle and few other bits and pieces.


To a certain extent, I am still dictating who she invites as she has yet to form close friendships in her new school, so we just invited the group of girls that Freyja has known for a few years now. Next year I hope she will be more able to say who she wants to come along from her class friends.

It was still pretty manic, even with just 5 girls. Though not quite as crazy as last year - this time I fed them earlier and I had no sweet food at all other than the cupcakes.

Next stop, dinosaur party for Theo's 4th.

Book Worm

For Freyja's birthday I gave her a massive set of Rainbow Magic books. I'd bought these ages ago at a Book Event at my work, and really planned them as something we would read together.

Her reading has really come on in her new school. It was one of the reasons that I was happy to move her as I felt that she was a more capable reader than her teachers were allowing for. This wasn't me being pushy, although I did start to doubt myself and wonder if I was just deluded about my firstborn's abilities! But my feeling was that she was capable of reading at a higher level than her school seemed willing to put her on. And we're not talking much here - well within her age range, so nothing that ambitious! And I knew from talking to parents of Freyja's friends in other schools, most of who were reading at higher levels than she was, that I wasn't being unreasonable in my expectations.

Then, on her first day in her new school she was moved up 2 reading levels. And she is now reading at 5 levels higher than she left her old school on at half term. As an aside, I also feel her writing, which I was a little concerned about previously, has improved this last half term.

Anyway, she opened her Rainbow Magic books on her birthday and the next day decided to make a start herself. The first chapter was tricky - she could read it but I knew from her school reading that pace would be an issue, which it was. She lost the meaning of the story. That night I re-read the first chapter to her and we decided that was the approach we would take - she would read it, then I would read it again to her. But over the next few days she really progressed and has now finished reading the first two books herself. I keep catching her curled up, nose in book. She seems to have grown 2 inches and a few years in age over night. Her best friend Ruby is also reading the same books so they are now swapping them as they go.


I feel as though a little girl walked out of the school gates at the end of last term and a school girl will walk back in tomorrow. (sob....)

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2011 turned out to be quite a big year in the Lightly household. At the end of January I found out that I was pregnant. The next 9 months went by for me in a sort of hormonal haze. And as well as the arrival of Noah, Adrian started a new job, Freyja started a new school and we had a new kitchen. We have also this evening moved Theo out of his little room and into what was our guest room at the back of the house.

We'd like a quieter 2012. I have only small aims - to de-cluttter the house and to get Noah going to bed at a decent time (he is STILL up with us in the evenings - I fear this child is a night owl like his father. He stays up until 10pm and then given half the chance lies in all morning). We may get a new bathroom and tidy up the garden.

Though we do have one major event to look forward to. Theo starts school in September...

Happy 6th Birthday, Freyja

Today Freyja turned 6 years old.

She asked for pancakes in the morning, then went to the cinema with her grandparents, followed by lunch at Pizza Express then home for presents.


Freyja is rather strange in that she likes to hold off as long as possible before opening her presents. She was the same on Christmas Day and on her birthday we ended up having a present stand off between Freyja and Theo (who had one present to open) with neither wanting to be the first to go. (I say strange but I was the same as a child, always wanting to leave Christmas presents until the last possible moment in the day. And Adrian was similar too).

She received some lovely gifts, her favourites being an Alice in Wonderland dress from her grandparents and a box set of the Rainbow Magic fairy books from us.

Here she is making a first attempt at independent reading of a 'chapter book' by herself. While dressed as Alice, of course.

Merry Christmas

Noah

The Dummy Fairy Visits Again

I am quite a big fan of dummies for babies. Obviously, before I had children I said I would never use one. But both Freyja and Theo were babies who found the dummy very soothing - Freyja because she was quite fussy and Theo because he was very sucky. I just found them great for settling, soothing and distracting.

So, once I'd got over using a dummy for a baby, I then said I'd get rid of it before they were too old. But Freyja was three and half when the 'dummy fairy' finally paid a visit - although by that age, the dummy was strictly for bedtime only.

Theo has been very attached to his dummy. Ideally, he likes to have 3 or 4, which he swaps around as he goes to sleep. I planned to give him until around age 3 and half, and then get rid of them. Three and half coincided with Noah's arrival and I hadn't managed to get rid of them (though again, they were strictly for bedtime). My next aim was Christmas, but things are pretty chaotic since Noah's arrival and I haven't wanted anything to add to the levels of sleep deprivation I am currently functioning under. So, 'some time next year' has been my new deadline.

But, on Tuesday night, once again Theo had taken his dummy out of his bedroom during the bedtime routine, and we couldn't find it. He was down to one, the others having been lost a few days before (I did actually know where they were but I didn't say...) so I said he'd have to sleep without it. I was actually a bit fed up because I'm always telling him to leave it in his bed so we know where it is. So he went to bed without it, made a bit of fuss but not too much, and slept fine.

So, I decided we might as well carry on. I told him the dummy fairy wanted to come, he fussed a bit about it, but in the morning I heard him get up and call to me 'Mummy, she came'. He has a pot of sweets (which is what he had asked for) and a book.

Tonight, he didn't even ask for his dummy. He just asked if he could have another one of his sweets tomorrow.

I was fully expecting to use a dummy for Noah too. But he just won't take it. And he doesn't really seem to need one so I've stopped offering. Whereas Freyja and Theo both needed to suck more than just feeding them could satisfy, Noah isn't so much like that. Although since the day he was born he has tried to munch on his fists so he may well turn into a thumb sucker yet...

Freyja's Christmas Concert

Decorating the Tree

Divas and Dictators

In my continued quest to help Theo to be more cooperative and better behaved, I have recently read a parenting book which has probably been the most helpful of them all. It's called Divas and Dictators by Charlie Taylor and the basic idea is that you use praise, rather than punishment, to the change behaviour. It has probably been the most effective parenting book I have read in dealing both with my child's behaviour and also with my own less desirable parenting traits!

The book suggests that you should be aiming to say around 6 positive things to your child for every negative thing that you say. It does involve reward ('pebbles in a jar' as well as lot of verbal praise), which goes against the idea of the Unconditional Parenting approach (which in a nutshell, is no punishment or reward), a book I found extremely interesting but have struggling to put into practice. However, Divas and Dictators does at one point say that if you feel uncomfortable praising something you can just describe it or comment on it and that is more in line with the Unconditional Parenting approach. However, I have found that reward through praise has been pretty effective.

When you start thinking about it, you realise just how negative the way you talk to your child can be - stop doing that, no don't, no you can't, hurry up, slow down etc etc. Recently, Theo was told off for something he had done and was very upset and I just had this sudden vision of how negative everything he hears directed toward him can be. He is an extremely frustrating child at times and it can be very, very hard to rise above whatever thing he has decided to dig his heels in about. But I started to think about what it must be like for your parents, the most important people in a 3 year olds life, to be so frequently negative and cross with you.

We have both made a huge effort over the last few weeks to praise all of Theo's good behaviour. It's been hard going and I have many times still lost my temper (which you are not supposed to do - the book starts off by taking a look at the parents own reactions to tricky situations and helps you to see how unhelpful that can be!) but slowly I have started to see an improvement. I think we got to the stage where Theo saw himself as a naughty boy but in the last few days I've noticed him commenting on how well behaved he is being.

I've also tried using a star chart, in the way outlined in the book (though the book suggests pebbles in a jar, but I had just bought a chart) and this has been very effective in clearly stating what we expect of him and reminding him about it when he is about to go off course.

We still have a long way to go, there is at least one battle a day, but things are improving and, importantly, because I am consciously trying to be positive, there are fewer occasions when I am ashamed at my own behaviour and how I have handled a situation.

NSPCC Letters from Santa

I decided to do the NSPCC Letters from Santa for each of the kids this year. They arrived today - all three together - and are wonderful. So much better than I expected.

Each letter was different - not just from the information that I provided, but the letters themselves are different, with different pictures and different words and different colours.

They were so excited to get them - Freyja saw the envelopes and called Theo excitedly that Santa had written to them. A lovely start to the festive season.

Making Festive Paper Chains

Two Months

Noah is two months old. I'm not sure I can really claim to have a newborn anymore. He weighs almost 13lbs and has moved into 0-3 months clothing. His features have uncreased, his face is filling out into that of a round cheeked bouncing baby.

But for now, he still has moments when I glimpse his newborn-ness. When he's hungry and begins to search about, foraging on whoever's chest he is lying against. When he sleeps on my chest, head turned up, eyebrows slightly raised. Or after he's fed, when he rolls off, stretching his arms above his head, fists balled up, eyes closed, forehead wrinkled, looking like a bald little kitten.

And he still sounds like a newborn. When I'm out, if he cries, women's heads turn and they gravitate towards his pram, drawn by the sound of such a new life. Women whose own children have grown and mums who have passed the baby stage, they all come to look, peering in and marvelling at just how young he is.

It's true what they say about things settling down after the first 6 - 8 week period. I remember this from before - nothing miraculous happens, it's just you adjust to your new life and accept where you are and what you need to do. I love having Noah but there have been moments when I've felt a flutter of panic about dealing with a baby again and everything that means - disrupted nights, hours spent feeding, no time to do anything, no time to yourself or with your partner. But that has settled now and while it is not always easy, I am trying to enjoy each moment, to hold him close while I still can and to treasure this brief time when he needs me so much.

Two months already. Please can we slow down?

Theo's words of wisdom

Adrian is out tonight and he spoke to Freyja and Theo over breaskfast this morning about being helpful when I'm getting them ready for bed tonight.

I got home from collecting them this evening and reminded them about what Daddy and said and about how I was on my own tonight. Theo's response?

'You're not on your own Mummy, you have us'.

Suddenly, the bedtime routine feels a little less daunting.

The Gallery - Something I am Proud Of

Given my blog is about my children, there was really only one possibility for this week's gallery.

My children, who are most definitely my proudest achievement.

They delight me, exasperate me, make my heart swell with love, my blood boil with anger. They have awoken in me a love I never knew possible and a fear from which I will now never be completely free. They make me laugh and cry and shout and smile.

And no matter what I am always, always proud of them and proud that they are mine.



Though my new kitchen did come a close second...

Sons and Daughters

I always wanted three children and I always thought that I would have at least two daughters. It's probably only because I have a brother and sister.

So when I was pregnant with my third I was convinced I would have a girl. Then at the 20 week scan, when I found myself looking at what appeared to be testicles, I had to do a major adjustment to how I saw my family and my future.

It wasn't that I didnt want a boy. I already had a girl and a boy so it didn't matter at all, and I have really enjoyed having boy and feel a close bond with Theo. But I just feel I am more of a girls person than a boys person so for our household to shift to predominately male took me a while to get used to.

And then of course Noah arrived and I loved him intensely from the moment he popped out. I wouldn't swap him for all the girls in the world now.

But an unexpected outcome has been that I feel less 'done' than I expected to. I am definitely not having any more children, but I do feel sad for my second daughter that I will now never have.

Theo the Protector

Theo has taken on the role of baby Noah's protector. This involves shielding him from other people, using his arm as a barrier between Noah and whoever might be nearby. At a birthday party he crouched down and put his arm in front of Noah, who was sleeping in his carseat, to guard him from the children running round. He frequently tries to stop anyone else looking in the pram, saying he doesn't want anyone to see his baby brother. He will step in front of children who he thinks have come to close. This is all very sweet.

But he will also stand by the pram and bare his teeth at anyone who walks by...

Baby 3 update

Noah is now 5 weeks old. He weighs 10lbs12 - slotting in between Freyja and Theo at this age (though nearer to Theo...). He's on the 50th percentile - average!

Life with a newborn is both magical and frustrating. I love looking at him and cuddling him, watching his little face and funny expressions. I love seeing my other children with him - they adore him and always go to him when he cries. I remember that Freyja used to get very distressed when theo cried and would start crying herself, but with noah, perhaps because they are both older, they are more concerned than upset by his crying and they call me: 'Mummy, Noah needs you!' or 'Mummy, Noah needs a feed!'

But I would be lying if I said a newborn and two children isn't hard. It is hard. It is hard because Noah often needs feeding or holding which makes doing things with the other two diffcult. If Noah is crying or needs holding then dinner time and bathtime is utter chaos. If he is asleep or calm, then it's all fine. Much these days depends on Noah!

The lack of sleep is as hard as ever. We are nowhere near having our evenings back and I'm finding that particularly difficult - I think the longer gap between dealing with a baby has made this harder as I was well out of the 'babyzone' when Noah came along. I feel at a complete loss as to how I will get him to go down on his own at a decent time. At the moment he sleeps occasionally in his moses basket at night but mostly it is in our bed or, worse, on my chest. I know we will have to ackle it eventually, and I know we did it and we got there with the other two, but right now it feels quite daunting. He does not sleep long at night between feeds (though last night was the best so far. An 11pm feed lasting about an hour and then he slept - on my chest - until 3.30am) He has started not always settling after his night feeds. I long for a 4 hour stretch of sleep! That is all I feel I need.

I still seem to be feeding him every 2 hours in the day and I hope this gets longer soon. He is calm in the day, a little fussy in the evenings, sometimes yelling, sometimes not. I find it hard to get him to nap unless he is in his pram, and the school runs are actually a big help with this, soothing him to sleep 3 times a day. So I am slowly trying to build a routine around these school runs.

He is starting to smile. They are goofy, lop-sided grins as if he's not quite sure how to do it yet. And he's starting to coo and make soft baby noises that make everything worth while.

He won't take the dummy! It is a disaster!

All our visitors have gone now and much as I miss the help, it feels good to be getting into our new routines.

Though we have decided that now is a good time to get a new kitchen put in. We have a make shift kitchen in our living room and no washing machine.

Keeping things interesting in the Lightly household!

The Gallery - The Letter T

For me the letter T is Theo. 'T is for Theo', he says:

My Baby Brother

New Term, New School

Just before half term, Freyja was offered a place at one of the schools she was on the waiting list for.

It wasn't an easy decision as she was very happy and settled in her school but after much discussion we decided that the reasons we had wanted her to go to this school were still valid and accepted the place. She is friends with a couple of children who go to this new school and it has a good reputation. It is also more convenient for me, despite being slightly further away, as it is right next to Theo's preschool and also close to my childminder for when I return to work next year.

So today saw Freyja as new girl in her new school. I hope we've made the right decision.

The Gallery - Faces

My newborn children have the same faces.


It seems that my genes and Adrian's genes have only one combination!

One Year

My nephews, with two friends, release balloons filled with messages for their mum, who passed away a year ago today.

Keep strong, boys.



Anna, we all miss you.

http://www.justgiving.com/AnnaTryggvason

Constant Feeder

It looks as though I have a constant feeder on my hands again.

Noah so far is slotting somewhere in between Freyja and Theo in how he is as a newborn. Freyja was a fussy little thing, often crying, feeding constantly and wouldn't sleep in the day. Theo however was very easy baby, quickly falling into a regular routine with his feeding and napping well in the day and going down easily at night. What they both had in common was they wouldn't sleep through, feeding in the night for a long time and taking time to settle when they woke - Theo in particular really put us through it. Funny how things turn out - their baby temperaments are nothing like they are today. And they both also love their beds now!

Noah is calm during the day. He sleeps well and feeds well and when he's awake he's content most of the time. But then at around 4pm/5pm he gets taken over by a feeding frenzy and we have very fussy evenings, often lasting until midnight where all he wants to do is feed and cry. Freyja was exactly the same, though she used to really scream and I'd say she had colic. I'm not sure I'd label it colic just yet with Noah but it may well be going that way. He definitely has issues with wind/digestion by the end of the day.

Sometimes I can put him in the sling and he'll settle and sleep but generally he just keeps crying and all I can do is offer him a feed which calms him down. Sometimes it continues through the night, with him needing long feeds each time he wakes up (and then only sleeping for an hour or two before he wants more).


I know it is normal, particularly in breastfed babies. I know he is getting enough milk - the constant nappy changes and massive weight gain are proof of that. I know that he is still so young, only 3 weeks old.

It is so much easier to deal with this time. I used to get so upset and stressed out with Freyja but this time I know it doesn't last forever, I know it is normal newborn behaviour.

And I know how quickly this time passes.

So Glad I Had Him

When I was pregnant with Noah, at around 8 weeks (coinciding exactly with the onset of the most hideous morning sickness) I suddenly had a huge crisis of confidence. I felt constantly anxious and spent most of the rest of my pregnancy with a knot in my stomach - so much so that I had to go to the doctor about it.

It felt like such a huge decision to have made (and making decisions is not something I'm good at) and I felt a lot of anxiety about how it would turn out. Suddenly every negative thing I had ever read about having three children seemed huge. I worried about anything and everything.

Now that he has arrived I just cannot believe I doubted this. I feel terrible and keep telling him how sorry I am for spending the best part of 9 months in turmoil. I can't stop looking at him and kissing him and cuddling him. I can't bear to think that I might have opted for an easier life and decided not to have our third, when three has been in my heart all along.

When people say how hard it is looking after kids, they don't account for the fact that you actually want to do it, because of how much you love them. From the second he was in my arms, I have wanted to look after him - I want to bathe him and dress him and change his nappy. I want feed him and cuddle him. And later on I want to make him a pack lunch and buy him new shoes and get his hair cut and his dinner ready.

I want to do all of these things for him just as much as I want to to do them all for Freyja and Theo.

It Never Seems As Bad In the Morning...

Ah, sleep deprivation, how could I have forgotten you so easily?

It took around a year for Freyja and Theo to start sleeping through with any kind of regularity so I'm pretty prepared for the long haul again this time. But you always hope, don't you?

Well Noah feeds even more at night than the other two did. He is pretty much bang on every 2 hours - 10pm, 12am, 2am, 4am then usually one snuck in at around 5.30am as well. He also, like Freyja, quite often does that really fussy evening constant feeding thing, something we escaped with Theo. However, on the positive side he tends to go back to sleep once he's fed during the night.

Last night, we had a really good night and he managed 3 hours between feeds - this makes all the difference as I only had to feed him at 1.30am and at 4.30am. I feel much better for it today.

But surviving on an hours sleep here and there is just horrid. We've had a few unsettled nights where I haven't been able to get him back to sleep after his feed and it is such a killer.

But I always find that no matter what the night brings - and we really went through it with Theo - things never seems as bad the next morning. I think that will be my motto for surviving these early, sleepless nights.

Freyja Can Skip

With two feet:



And with one: